Part of me is uncomfortable with this study, because I don’t like the self-centered, Baby Boomer implication that, “Oh hey, get help for your kids, because it’ll help you too!”
Our attitude should be, “Get help for your kids. Period. Because they’re your kids! I mean, YOUR KIDS!”
But it’s an interesting study, and I’ll tell you why it’s important.
First, some circles scoff at the idea of “depressed kids.”
They chalk it up to “teenage hormones”, or “rebellion” (what a shameful interpretation), or “they’re just sulking because I won’t get them an electric scooter.”
Or, in Christian circles, parents deliver the message of, “If you’re depressed, kids, it’s because you haven’t learned to trust God properly.” So the child hides his depression, because they don’t want to have their spirituality questioned.
In those ways, some parents dismiss concerns about a child’s mental health, and the formative years can turn into festering years that have long-term consequences.
That’s really sad, and we could talk about that a lot, but here’s another thing.
A new study shows that if you take your kid’s depression seriously and get them help, it helps the entire family. In other words, if you are sadly ignoring your child’s mental health because “you know, kids”, you are damaging your entire family.
The study found that teens who either started medicinal treatment for their depression or talk therapy a) experienced a significant reduction in depressive symptoms and b) so did their parents. Everyone wins.
The study didn’t delve deeply into the mechanism, but it’s not hard to read into it. When one member of the family is struggling, everyone struggles. When they start feeling better, everybody starts feeling better. I’m making broad statements there, but you know how it goes, right? No man is an island, and it turns out that no kid is, either.
What I particularly like about the study is that, as the authors note, mental health is often studied in a vacuum and we look at treatment and its effects on the individual and ignore the family. The assumption, of course, is that the family is affected, but they’re rarely included in the study.
For Christians, the implications are obvious.
First, your kid’s depression is probably depression, and please help them! God has given them to you, and to you alone, and they are our greatest responsibility.
Second, if you believe in family unity and harmony, you’ll get them help.
When I’m struggling and my wife hears about a new treatment, she does healthy-person jumping jacks and says, “Babe, this is great! You should try it!”
I’m naturally cynical about most things, because they usually don’t help me and in fact, when they don’t, it disappoints me even further. So my natural response to her cheering is, “Meh. I don’t think I’ll try it. Time, money, side effects, blah blah blah.”
But what I’m missing is that this isn’t just about me — it’s also about her. And my whole family. I can’t make these decisions purely for myself, even though I feel as though depression is individualistic. It affects everyone, and I need to get help for everyone; not just myself.
So fellow Christians, a couple things.
A) Please take your child’s mental health seriously, because it is serious. And repressed mental health problems are just as real as obvious ones. And they have lifelong effects.
B) Getting help for your mental health is the loving, Christian thing to do. It’s not a luxury, I firmly believe it’s a commandment, because it’s about loving your neighbor.
C) If you believe God wants strong families, you should get help for every member of your family who is struggling, because we all rise and fall together (Although, that’s one of my worst things about family life, incidentally. I’d rather fall on my own, but oh well).
