Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is “an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others,” and according to the National Institutes of Mental Health affects approximately 7% of the population.
Naturally, the more severe the SAD, the more debilitating it is.
Well, a new study published in Behaviour Change indicates that individuals with SAD struggle with romantic relationships for two reasons — one you might expect, and the other, not so much.
First, people with SAD are less likely to be in romantic relationships, at all.
Considering SAD’s symptoms, that’s not surprising.
If you have SAD, you’re less likely to date and show the vulnerability necessary for a relationship if you’re terrified by the judgment by others. Particularly, someone you like.
So that’s the first difficulty — forming romantic relationships.
Now here’s another hard part.
Researchers found that once individuals with SAD are in romantic relationships, they judge them as less satisfying than people in romantic relationships without SAD.
The surprising part is why.
The study indicated, through regression analysis, that the lack of satisfaction seems to be most associated with the depression that frequently co-occurs with SAD, and not social anxiety disorder itself.
That’s hugely clinically important.
Why?
Because, as the authors note, it suggests that treating the depression is likely to be more effective for producing a satisfying relationship than treating the social anxiety disorder itself.
So SAD does seem to inhibit the formation of romantic relationships, in the first place, but once those relationships are formed, it’s less likely to play a role in how satisfying it is.
That’s when depression produces the major challenge to the relationship, and social anxiety doesn’t seem to play a significant role in how satisfying that relationship is.
Yes, there’s a chance someone with SAD might be less vulnerable or open to communication within that relationship, but according to the authors, that didn’t seem to be nearly as important as the depression that is often co-morbid with SAD.
So for practitioners, this is an important study.
However, if you have SAD, or depression, it doesn’t change the fact that the best way to treat it is to…..
Find a psychiatrist near you.
And a therapist.
One final note.
There are obviously good Christian books on relationships and marriage.
Yet curiously, I haven’t read a single chapter from any Christian book on the role depression or anxiety or any kind of mental health disorder (I prefer calling it “brain disorder” because these are medical conditions) plays in a relationship.
Meanwhile, the secular world is light years ahead of the church on the massive role mental health challenges can play in a relationship’s health.
Every Christian book on relationships should have some kind of chapter on mental health. Or many chapters.
I’ve seen so many struggling relationships flourish once that component is addressed. Relationships that, until then, had only gotten worse, even with all the well-intentioned “biblical counseling” that had been provided.
Sometimes it really is as simple (and difficult!) as one or both partners addressing their mental health challenges.
[Painting: Room in New York, Hopper]
