The Weary Christian
  • Depression
    • Depression

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Depression

      STUDY: Criticizing older adults make them more vulnerable…

      Depression

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Depression

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Depression

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

  • Anxiety
    • Anxiety

      Calling out the brain on catastrophizing

      Anxiety

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Anxiety

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

  • Book quotes/Video
    • Book quotes/Video

      “In darkest night, you were there like no…

      Book quotes/Video

      Thanksgiving for his brokenness

      Book quotes/Video

      Esther Smith: “All he wants is you”

      Book quotes/Video

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Book quotes/Video

      Staton: On being a witness

  • Health News
    • Health News

      Calling out the brain on catastrophizing

      Health News

      STUDY: Mental health conditions share deep genetic patterns

      Health News

      STUDY: Four Supplements that MIGHT help depression

      Health News

      STUDY: Gut changes raise risk of eating disorders…

      Health News

      STUDY: Criticizing older adults make them more vulnerable…

  • Interviews
    • Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Terry Powell’s gripping account of depression

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Therapist Michael Schiferl explains religious scrupulosity and…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Rocker Matt Sassano shares battles, urges transparency…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Brian Briscoe tells Christians that antidepressants…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Pastor Scott Sauls on anxiety, depression, and…

  • Devotionals
    • Devotionals

      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Devotionals

      Defeated by God

      Devotionals

      Am I a faithless Christian?

      Devotionals

      Think you’re a “failure?” Jesus sees you unlike…

      Devotionals

      “I killed Jesus of Nazareth”

  • About
  • Depression
    • Depression

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Depression

      STUDY: Criticizing older adults make them more vulnerable…

      Depression

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Depression

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Depression

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

  • Anxiety
    • Anxiety

      Calling out the brain on catastrophizing

      Anxiety

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Anxiety

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

  • Book quotes/Video
    • Book quotes/Video

      “In darkest night, you were there like no…

      Book quotes/Video

      Thanksgiving for his brokenness

      Book quotes/Video

      Esther Smith: “All he wants is you”

      Book quotes/Video

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Book quotes/Video

      Staton: On being a witness

  • Health News
    • Health News

      Calling out the brain on catastrophizing

      Health News

      STUDY: Mental health conditions share deep genetic patterns

      Health News

      STUDY: Four Supplements that MIGHT help depression

      Health News

      STUDY: Gut changes raise risk of eating disorders…

      Health News

      STUDY: Criticizing older adults make them more vulnerable…

  • Interviews
    • Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Terry Powell’s gripping account of depression

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Therapist Michael Schiferl explains religious scrupulosity and…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Rocker Matt Sassano shares battles, urges transparency…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Brian Briscoe tells Christians that antidepressants…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Pastor Scott Sauls on anxiety, depression, and…

  • Devotionals
    • Devotionals

      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Devotionals

      Defeated by God

      Devotionals

      Am I a faithless Christian?

      Devotionals

      Think you’re a “failure?” Jesus sees you unlike…

      Devotionals

      “I killed Jesus of Nazareth”

  • About

The Weary Christian

THE WEARY CHRISTIAN

LIVING WITH FAITH AND DEPRESSION

  • Depression
    • Depression

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Depression

      STUDY: Criticizing older adults make them more vulnerable…

      Depression

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Depression

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Depression

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

  • Anxiety
    • Anxiety

      Calling out the brain on catastrophizing

      Anxiety

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Anxiety

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

  • Book quotes/Video
    • Book quotes/Video

      “In darkest night, you were there like no…

      Book quotes/Video

      Thanksgiving for his brokenness

      Book quotes/Video

      Esther Smith: “All he wants is you”

      Book quotes/Video

      James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

      Book quotes/Video

      Staton: On being a witness

  • Health News
    • Health News

      Calling out the brain on catastrophizing

      Health News

      STUDY: Mental health conditions share deep genetic patterns

      Health News

      STUDY: Four Supplements that MIGHT help depression

      Health News

      STUDY: Gut changes raise risk of eating disorders…

      Health News

      STUDY: Criticizing older adults make them more vulnerable…

  • Interviews
    • Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Terry Powell’s gripping account of depression

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Therapist Michael Schiferl explains religious scrupulosity and…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Rocker Matt Sassano shares battles, urges transparency…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Brian Briscoe tells Christians that antidepressants…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Pastor Scott Sauls on anxiety, depression, and…

  • Devotionals
    • Devotionals

      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Devotionals

      Defeated by God

      Devotionals

      Am I a faithless Christian?

      Devotionals

      Think you’re a “failure?” Jesus sees you unlike…

      Devotionals

      “I killed Jesus of Nazareth”

  • About
Health News

STUDY: Mental health conditions share deep genetic patterns

James Bryan Smith: Unmet expectations and fear

STUDY: Four Supplements that MIGHT help depression

STUDY: Criticizing older adults make them more vulnerable to developing depression

Study offers great context on kids, screen time, and emotional problems

Daily Blog

“Reaches with love, to welcome his child”

“Reaches with love, to welcome his child”

written by Christian Heinze

For anyone who’s never truly had a dad, or who’s missing their dad…

“My Father’s Chair” by David Meece (whose father was plagued by alcoholism).

“Sometimes at night, I’d lie awake

Longing inside for my father’s embrace

Sometimes at night, I’d wander downstairs

And pray he’d returned, but no one was there.

Oh, how I’d cry – a child all alone

Waiting for him to come home.

My father’s chair sat in an empty room

My father’s chair, covered with sheets of gloom

My father’s chair, through all the years

And all the tears, I cried in vain

No one was there in my father’s chair.”

—

“Sometimes at night, I sit all alone

Drifting asleep in a chair of my own

When sweet, sleepy eyes peer down from the hall

Frightened by dreams they cannot recall

Holding them close, calming their fears

Praying they always will say

‘My father’s chair sits in a loving room

My father’s chair, no matter what I do

My father’s chair, through all the years

And all the tears, I need not fear

Love’s always there in my father’s chair;.”

—

“Sometimes at night, I dream of a throne

of my loving God, calling me home

And as I appear, he rises and smiles

Reaches with love to welcome his child

Never to cry, never to fear

In his arms, safe and secure.

My father’s chair sits in a royal room.

My father’s chair holds glory beyond the tomb

My father’s chair, my God is there

And I am his eternal heir

Someday I’ll share my Father’s chair.”

If you’re depressed, or struggle with any aspect of mental health…

For readers from the United States….

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

March 18, 2024
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Why clutter can make a mess of your mental health

Why clutter can make a mess of your mental health

written by Christian Heinze

Over at Study Finds, Dr. Faith Coleman helpfully distills significant scientific research linking physical clutter to poor mental health, while supporting the idea of decluttering as a boost for numerous measures of quality of life.

Some of this is based on a fascinating study from The Journal of Environmental Psychology that evaluates what’s deemed as a person’s “sense of psychological home.”

Home, at its core, isn’t a place for us to sleep and live. It’s a place for us to feel safe and secure.

Hence, we’re fond of saying, “I’m at home in the coffee shop.” The smell, the way you’re with your favorite book or friend in a way you can’t be anywhere else, and the stakes aren’t too big and the price is small, and you feel the bustle of the crowd secures you without stifling you.

That kind of thing.

Well, it turns out that’s the way our real home should feel. The one we live in. It should be both the place we sleep and the place we feel we sleep best.

What threatens that? Well, loads of things.

But one is “possession clutter.”

“Possession clutter,” it turns out, is a great enemy of our sense of psychological home and perceived well-being, and loads of research has linked it to feelings of disconnectedness, a sense of powerlessness, and a failure to nurture a productive sense of self.

None of that is too surprising.

We all have our thresholds, of course. What’s cluttered to you might not be cluttered to me, but there’s a way to resolve that ambiguity.

And here it is – what’s the point at which your psychological sense of security within your home is threatened by clutter?

A good question to think about.

Now, I know it almost seems silly to call clutter “threatening” to our sense of security in our home, because so many things that happen at home hurt our psychological sense of security in far more profound ways, but clutter seems a much easier thing (maybe?) to address than, “Can we pay the rent this month?”

Dr. Faith Coleman then lists some of the positive benefits of decluttering for your mental health.

Among these: boosting mood by relaxing your mind, improving your physical health (a cluttered house makes us more likely to eat poorly), focusing our mind so we get stuff done (mood boost!), improving sleep, and improving relationships.

So how do we get to that? (I really want to know, because right now there are things in our house that I’m not sure can be identified. We have have two young kids, and sometimes (daily) you find something in the corner and wonder: “Was that food, at some point in its life (a disintegrating blueberry), or is it just a part of a toy?” You think about it, then decide that if it’s a crucial component of a toy, your kid will randomly — after six months — ask for that toy, and you’ll realize you just threw away, without his consent, the thing that will throw away his day. So you leave it there for your spouse to hopefully decide).

Well, Dr. Coleman has some ideas for how to actually declutter: set aside a time for it, sort items into categories, digitally declutter by getting rid of stuff like spam emails (for some reason, I get daily offers for burial insurance), and here’s a biggie.

I’m going to repeat this: Here’s a biggie. “DO NOT TOUCH EVERY ITEM, CONTEMPLATING ITS FATE.” Because it increases attachment.

I love articles like this because they’re very practical and make sense, but I also want to say that I know depression is much deeper than clutter.

It’s almost laughable, if it weren’t so sad, to reduce it to that.

In fact, when I’m depressed, I’m more likely to live a cluttered life because picking up things is too overwhelming.

So I’m sure there’s research out there showing some kind of two-way relationship, wherein clutter can contribute to worsening mental health, and worsening mental health can contribute to clutter.

And there are also scores of tidy people who are as depressed and prone to neurological mood disorders as someone who keeps plastic bags and receipts for three months because. Just because.

So I don’t want to come close to reducing our mental health to clutter. It’s something a non-depressed person might do that would dehumanize our struggle.

“You might want to clean up a little.”

“Cleanliness is next to godliness.”

“Just tidy up and you’ll feel better in no time!”

But I do appreciate tips that can, perhaps, maybe, for some of us, some of the time, help at the margins.

And here’s where I’m going rogue without scientific backing to say this – I do think that things like decluttering might act as some restraint, however small, from our depression taking hold.

I’d be interested to see some kind of study measuring it as a preventative, of some kind.

Regardless, I’m going to try to pick up a few things today.

And I really do think we should nurture and think more of this “psychological sense of of home.”

Of course, it’s much more expansive than clutter, and far more transcendent than an earthly yearning, but as we know, a “psychological sense of home” brings us back to the idea that Christ’s peace provides a sense of home that nothing else can and when we’re missing it, it feels as though we’re abandoned.

“My God, why are you so far from me?” David wrote. His despair, at some level, came from the sense that God was no longer there. It felt God had left David’s home, therefore, depriving him of his psychological sense of home.

Then, on a more hopeful note, there’s Christ’s promise of the moment when we’ll feel forever at home, because we’ll finally be home.

There’s Jesus’ promise that the Father is creating a place for us, surrounded by an eternally warm love. Like when you take the perfect nap, with the windows open on a perfect day, and a light fan is blowing in your face and you have nowhere to be when you wake up, except possibility.

You’ve got your own idea of what an eternal rest might be like.

So think about your home, on the most practical level today, but more importantly, your “psychological sense of home” and see what you find.

If you’re depressed, or struggle with any aspect of mental health…

For readers from the United States….

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For those without Christ, he’s a prayer away.

[Photo: Pexels, free stock photography. As a P.S., I think some clutter (for example, on a city street or in an artist’s studio, or even a forgotten elderly man’s one bedroom apartment) can be both visually arresting, mystical and mysterious. And again, clutter itself is not a bad thing because who can really define what’s “cluttered?” That’s why the conceptualizing of clutter as something that diminishes our sense of psychological home is so important. It graciously accounts for our different thresholds and preferences].

March 18, 2024
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Reminder: Bipolar disorders can go unrecognized for years

Reminder: Bipolar disorders can go unrecognized for years

written by Christian Heinze

I came across a story this week about Bipolar UK Simon Kitchen’s upcoming charity walk to raise awareness for bipolar disease and the astonishingly long time it takes for it to go diagnosed.

Kitchen is taking a 9.5 day walk to raise awareness that the average time for bipolar diagnosis in the UK is 9.5 years from onset.

Those years can wreak havoc in nearly every area of one’s life, and the tragedy is that it doesn’t have to. Good treatment is available.

I looked up U.S. statistics, and it turns out the average time for diagnosis in the states is a similarly depressing 8 years, according to Professor Kay Redfield Jamison at Johns Hopkins.

Jamison notes that the delay is often due to the fact bipolar is associated in the popular imagination with a kind of constant, manic impulsiveness that’s an incredibly crude, simplistic description of the disease.

You know, as if you’re doing this 24/7 when you have an $8/hr job.

That’s….not the way it works.

Also, many have bipolar II, which is difficult to recognize because the highs aren’t as obviously high as those in bipolar I. Thus, the “hypomania” might look very much like great productivity, focus, or intense creativity.

Another reason why the delay is so long is that patients tend to swing from feeling really good to really bad, and it can just feel like a normal rhythm of life.

When they’re feeling good, they resist getting help.

“Oh, it was just a rough patch, but now I’m great,” one might say, and who could blame you?

At the moment, the sun is shining as if it rose for you, birds (robins, in fact) are singing as if it’s your nuptials, and the bees are indicating either a metaphoric or literal new life could be forming.

Everything is great!

Then, the darkness hits and when that happens, patients will often self-diagnose themselves as dealing with depression — not a bipolar disorder.

Or, they can just call it a rough patch and perhaps even have the foresight to know that that brilliant sun will come out again and “isn’t this just the way life is?”

No, not for most people (or to be specific: 97.6% of people, in a cross-sectional study of eleven countries).

And the truth is — the exhausting yo-yo, the swings, the harmful effects on one’s life — none of that has to be one’s destiny, if diagnosed and treated appropriately.

From childhood, I always suspected I had some form of depression, and when I finally tried medicine in my 20s, went through all kinds of SSRI’s that didn’t help.

I never dreamed I could have bipolar II, because I didn’t fit the Youtube above, at all. That popular misconception.

Then a sharp doctor one day said, “Mmm, I think you might have bipolar 2,” and although the words shocked and didn’t ring true to me, I took the medicine and, lo and behold, the Rx worked. And when I read about hypomania and depressive episodes, the clinical picture fit, as well.

But it was quite the wait.

So there are so many really exhausting barriers to clinical diagnosis and treatment.

If you think you might have the disorder…

For readers from the United States….

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

Also, I put a picture of the great 19th century preacher Charles Spurgeon at the top because, although he was obviously never clinically diagnosed with a form of bipolar, he certainly wrote about his depression as though he might be someone suffering from it.

In his sermon, “Israel’s God and God’s Israel,” he says:

“I suppose that some brethren neither have much elevation or depression. I could almost wish to share their peaceful life. For I am much tossed up and down, and although my joy is greater than the most of men, my depression of spirit is such as few can have an idea of.”

Of course, Spurgeon had far more to write and say about his mental condition and for that, check out one of my favorite books of all time on the subject, Zack Eswine’s Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those who suffer from depression.

March 12, 2024
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Warren: “Stay on the lookout for grace”

Warren: “Stay on the lookout for grace”

written by Christian Heinze

Tish Harrison Warren, in her wonderful book, Prayer in the Night: For Those Who Work or Watch or Weep:


“The losses I’ve sustained make me afraid of what’s ahead. I begin to think, ‘Not one more thing, Lord. Do not take away one more thing.’

But, of course, we can’t make that bargain with God. We can scale the heights of human knowledge and still not know what will happen by breakfast tomorrow.”


Yet, despite that painful reality (yes, it is), she continues…


… As Christians, we take up watching as a practice — a task even. We stay on the lookout for grace.

We proclaim that even in the deepest darkness there is one we can trust, who will not leave us. We believe that even if the worst comes to pass there is a solidity to beauty, to God himself, that will remain.

Our posture of waiting does not deny the horros of the night, but it bets on the morning to come.

Fear also keeps us on the lookout, but instead of the dawn, we imagine only desolation. We assume there will not be grace enough for what lies ahead. Fear tells us there is no one with us who can be trusted on this dark road.

In this prayer of Compline, we pray for those who watch. Sure, I take this literally — we are praying for late-night security guards, the police, firefighters, whoever eyes the military radar.

But when I pray this prayer, I’m also praying for those who wait and watch, not knowing what’s to come. In this sense, all of us are ‘those who watch’.”


Amen. I pray for each of you readers who are up, wherever you are, at night or in the night of your life.

We must watch for the grace God gives, and gives to others, and if we take notice, we will notice that God is everywhere. But especially right here.

Oh, and if I post a lot of quotes from Warren’s book, it’s because it’s been so deeply meaningful to me these past 8 months. I think you’ll like it too. It’s wonderfully sober, because there’s no artificial exuberance, nor is there morbid and pointless reflection – except that which points in the direction of Resurrection. Even if our faith in that is fragile, God’s promise of it is not.

March 12, 2024
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Bessel van der Kolk on how the body stores trauma

Bessel van der Kolk on how the body stores trauma

written by Christian Heinze

I recently started reading his classic book, The Body Keeps the Score, and will be posting excerpts, but I thought I’d start with this video overview below from van der Kolk, and a key passage from the video overview:

Bessel van der Kolk says in the video:

“The nature of a trauma is that an experience enters into your ears, into your skin, into your eyes, and it goes down into a very primitive part of your brain that automatically interprets what’s going on…. an event becomes traumatic when there is nothing you can do to stave off the inevitable and your body goes into a state of fight/flight or collapse.

The lingering effect of trauma is that you continue to react to mild stressors as if your life is in danger, and so you tend to become hyperreactive.

…Most people are barely aware or not aware at all that their reactions that they’re having right now is actually rooted in experiences that they’ve had before. That event itself is over, but you continue to react to things as if you’re in danger.

…. You need to really develop a deep sense of, ‘This is what’s happened to me. This is what I’m dealing with, and I need to take care of the wounds that I’m caring inside of myself.‘

This issue of self-compassion and really knowing that your reactions are understandable and are rooted in you getting stuck in the past is a terribly important part of beginning to recover from trauma.”

I’ve written this many times before, but the Christian church — well put it this way. It’s remarkable how many have been traumatized by it, and yet remained Christians. It’s a testament to God’s power, but also Satan’s penchant to show up as an angel of light.

To begin with, you have the obvious and tragic abuse of every kind that’s so common in churches.

Read The Roys Report’s outstanding work on exposing abusive church cultures. There are so many who’ve been traumatized in God’s very temple, and when they work up the courage to confront their abusers, the church goes into overdrive to protect the powerful and further victimize the victim.

If Christians want to complain about a “Deep State,” Abusive Church Culture is the real Deep State because it works far more damage than any other, imaginable institution on earth, because it cloaks its abuse in Christ’s name.

That’s the clearest example.

But on another, more quiet level, the entire ethos of Victorious Christian Living runs contradictory to the idea of trauma itself, and thereby, dismisses it.

And here’s perhaps the main reason.

When you come to Christ, you are famously a “new creation,” but the church misses the crucial distinction that this means you’re a new spiritual creation, not a new physical creation. We would never tell a stage II cancer patient who suddenly became a Christian that they’re now a new physical creation and their cancer is therefore gone and stop the chemo.

And in the case of PTSD and trauma, we still have trauma from the past stored in us that will play out in continually damaging ways, because our new bodies don’t come until the Resurrection.

In fact, for many new Christians, trauma can become more confusing because they’re taught that it’s supposed to go away because they’re a “new creation” now (just like they’re supposed to be “joyful” all the time now), and if the trauma lingers, then they’re just not “giving it away to God.”

Our traumas are perhaps some of our most sacred experiences, and I mean that in the sense that you have to go deep to get into a sacred place, and when someone laughs or makes a joke while in a sacred place, there’s a kind of blasphemy to it.

When people have doubted the reality of my depression or anxiety, I’ve sometimes been hurt, but so be it.

But when I’ve actually shared a moment of trauma and been dismissed?

That hurts at a level I didn’t even know I had. It’s a conversational dehumanization unlike any other.

And that is why I say it is sacred, because sacred means “set apart,” and it is very precious in the sense that it represents us at our most fragile.

We are all survivors of something deeply hurtful and as T.S. Eliot wrote, “All suffering is unique and the same.”

If you recognize trauma in your life, please look for help. Trauma won’t go away if you ignore it. I tried that for too long, and I’ve still got a long way to go. Thankfully, there’s help.

For readers from the United States….

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For those without Christ, he’s a prayer away.

March 11, 2024
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“I need thee every hour”

written by Christian Heinze

Sometimes it’s all we can really say.

“I need Thee every hour
Most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine
Can peace afford

I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

I need Thee every hour
Stay Thou nearby
Temptations lose their power
When Thou art nigh

I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

I need Thee every hour
In joy or pain
Come quickly and abide
Or life is vain

I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

Just as I am
Without one plea
But that thy blood
Was shed for me

And that Thou bids me
Come to Thee
Oh, Lamb of God
I come, I come

Just as I am
And waiting not
To rid my soul
Of one dark blot

To Thee whose blood
Can cleanse each spot
Oh, Lamb of God
I come, I come

Come, ye sinners
Poor and needy
Bruised and broken
By the fall

Jesus ready
Stands to save you
For love pardoning
Love for all

He is able
He is able
He is willing
Doubt no more

He is able
He is able
He is willing
Doubt no more”


And every hour the Lord answers, “I am with you always – even to the ends of the world.”

For readers from the United States….

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For those without Christ, he’s a prayer away.

March 9, 2024
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STUDY: Preschoolers with depression more likely to commit suicide during adolescence

STUDY: Preschoolers with depression more likely to commit suicide during adolescence

written by Christian Heinze

One of the saddest headlines you’ll ever read.

But it’s true.

A new study, published in The Journal of the Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, used 20 years worth of research to show that preschoolers (ages 3-6) were more than 6x likelier to express a desire to kill themselves and 8x likelier to actually try by 12 years old than preschoolers who didn’t show signs of depression.

That’s an enormously sad paragraph to write and even read.

Now I know that many skeptics will say, “Come on, you can’t say a preschoolers has depression!”

But you absolutely can.

We know, of course, that developing depression involves both a genetic and environmental component (among other things), and that young kids are therefore at risk.

And, in fact, when you look at how the preschoolers were earmarked for depression in the study, you can see the signs pretty easily.

Writing for Medical Xpress, Kristina Sauerwein notes these preschoolers were more likely to appear joyless, be self-critical, have trouble regulating their moods and emotions, and also – seemed to have “an advanced understanding of death.”

In case folks are still skeptical, even bran scans saw processes indicative of depression.

In prior studies, [Dr. Joan] Luby and [Dr. Deanna] Barch conducted brain scans on preschoolers with depression and found alterations in brain development, compared with their peers who did not suffer from depression. Their gray matter—tissue that contains brain cells and processes signals involved in seeing, hearing, memory, decision-making and emotion—is lower in volume and thinner across the cortex, potentially contributing to challenges with mood and emotion regulation.

So yes, this is a real thing. This is an unbelievably sad thing. This needs to be addressed.

Just as a personal anecdote, I absolutely felt deep depression as young as age five.

I wasn’t afraid of monsters under my bunk bed, I was afraid of death, the enormity of life itself (even the good things), so overwhelmed by the juxtaposition of the two that I didn’t know how I could last much longer than another five years.

Muse wasn’t even a band yet, but I felt so keenly, then, the words they sing in “Explorers“: “Free me, free me, free me from this world. I don’t belong here. It was a mistake, imprisoning my soul. Can you free me, free me from this world?”

Each night ended with the same refrain, a bad dream before the bad dream.

And I had wonderful parents and a good life! I was just a kid with depression. Who hid it very well.

I suspect that there are many such kids, particularly in the church, because there’s such an emphasis on behavioral control (“don’t yell, don’t throw a tantrum, don’t be angry” etc) and these behaviors are often symptoms of the emotional dysregulation that’s consistent with depression.

Recently, I came across a gathering of Christians and the kids were all “well-behaved” and yet I wondered, “which is the child, dutifully staying quiet while his elders speak, saying ‘thank you’ when he’s offered something he doesn’t like, smiling because it reflects joy, but on the inside, is actually crying and screaming because they’re sad, and because they can’t cry and scream when they feel like it at home because their parents expect adult behavior from a child who simply doesn’t have the brain development to be an adult yet?”

We simply have to let our kids express their emotions and can’t Proverbs them into being perfect, little human beings.

We have to let them be angry, “disrespectful” to us, we have to let them feel the passion God gave them, and love and hold them through it.

I once heard one of my favorite child development experts say that as long as little kids are expressing their emotions, they’re saying, “I feel safe with you. I feel safe enough to say I’m angry. I feel safe enough that I won’t be punished or in trouble for feeling a certain way.”

Emotional safeness and love go hand-in-hand (I love this article on why it’s so important to teach our kids about their feelings and let them express them).

There are spiritual implications too.

Kids need to know they can “behave badly” and still be infinitely loved. They need to see our unconditional love in order to understand God’s.

Because a lot of adult Christians can’t grasp this (including myself). We can’t grasp how God could love us, exactly as we are, and not “as we should be because we can never be as good as we should” – as Brennan Manning writes (paraphrase).

If you’re a kid who feels your parents’ approval and love is dependent on behavior, then you’ll probably be an adult Christian who has an awfully fraught relationship with your Father in heaven.

So this is absolutely crucial — especially for the church.

More generally, the United States seems to have a rather odd view of children and mental health, wherein parents either say depression etc. is real but blame screens for the condition, or that it’s not real and just a plot by pharma companies to start medicating kids who are just being kids.

Either way — they tend to deny it could have any basis in what’s the basis for any disease. We are born with mortal bodies. Ones that malfunction. Ones that need medicine and therapy and help when they’re diseased.

And one could argue that treating childhood depression is even more important than addressing adult depression, because a child’s brain is still developing and, as with anything, early treatment is more likely to be successful than waiting until even more damage has been done.

The Christian church is just now (with hesitation) getting around to make its peace with understanding depression as a disease.

But a disease kids could have?

The church isn’t even close to there.

In fact, too often Christian churches create a culture where manifestations of that depression are censured, and thus, the darkness inside goes hidden outside for a long while (in a similar way to how adult depression is hidden in churches. It’s a Christian culture thing).

So this is serious business, and seriously sad, and that headline is one of the saddest things to think of.

I just prayed right now, and I hope you pray now that God will open the minds of Christian leaders and parents, so that we all can recognize the importance of listening to our children, and recognizing that even preschoolers can be depressed, and that God has given us the great honor and responsibility of attending to their needs.

Resources:

Cognition and Emotion: “Pediatric Depression: An Evidence-based Update on Treatment Interventions.”

NHS: “Depression in children and young people.”

CDC: “Anxiety and depression in children.”

Cleveland Clinic: “Depression in children: signs, symptoms and what to do.”

Johns Hopkins: “Childhood Depression.”

Everyday Health: “7 easily missed signs your child might have depression.”

Final note – if you haven’t yet, read my interview with Dr. Terry Powell, who talks of his own childhood depression.

[Photo: Pexels, free stock photography]

March 6, 2024
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STUDY: Researchers point to distinct gut bacteria in social anxiety disorder

STUDY: Researchers point to distinct gut bacteria in social anxiety disorder

written by Christian Heinze

Writing for Psychology Today, Dr. William Haseltine points to one of the most important studies in awhile re: social anxiety disorder (SAD).

That research, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that individuals afflicted with SAD have their own distinct gut microbacteria compared to individuals without the condition.

This microbiome increased sensitivity to fear and decreased stress resilience and immune function.

In other words, gut bacteria caused this group of people to be more likely to be afraid under certain circumstances, and that fear was more likely to be the kind that can mentally and physically cripple you.

That’s a huge finding.

And to further establish the link, researchers transplanted SAD-associated microbacteria from humans into one group of mice, and non-SAD-associated microbacteria from another group of humans into a different group of mice.

Guess what happened?

The mice who got the SAD-associated microbacteria…. started exhibiting all the symptoms of SAD. The others didn’t.

Which clearly proves that these mice with SAD just weren’t trusting God enough for provision and for physical healing.

Before moving on with the study…

This is why it’s so important for the church to be aware of studies like this. How many people with SAD are told that their fearfulness in certain situations is from defective faith?

“Strengthen yourself, my brother!”

That’s nice to hear (actually, it’s not), but a Christian with SAD should maybe answer, “Thanks! I will strengthen myself! In that case, can I borrow some of your fecal material w/your more diverse gut bacteria?”

Because the truth is that Alpha Strong Encourager Christian just probably has a healthier, more diverse microbiome. (When you find Christ, you don’t find a new microbiome, too).

But, back to the study — armed with this knowledge, researchers can start to look into ways to target this particular gut bacteria to hopefully better treat symptoms of SAD.

And those symptoms can be absolutely debilitating for work, friendships, relationships, every aspect of life.

So with that in mind, if you think you might have SAD…

For readers from the United States….

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, please seek help from a local resource!

[Painting: Baie de Marseille, vue de l’Estaque, Cezanne. I should have posted a picture of gut bacteria, but the truth is that with my chronic stomach condition, I can’t stomach the idea of hunting for a picture of the bacteria that live in our gut, or even just a generic stock photo of the intestinal system. So you get one of my favorite Cezanne’s]

February 29, 2024
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Our voyage, every day, until the promised land

Our voyage, every day, until the promised land

written by Christian Heinze

If we could read and think about this beautiful entry from Valley of Vision at the start of every day…

My favorite in the whole book — a prayer that involves both our desperate and our hopeful heart.

Valley of Vision (pg 202).


O Lord of the oceans,

My little bark sails on a restless sea,

Grant that Jesus may sit at the help and steer me safely;

Suffer no adverse currents to divert my heavenward course;

Let not my faith be wrecked amid storms and shoals;

Bring me to harbour with flying pennants,

hull unbreached, cargo unspoiled.

I ask great things,

expect great things,

shall receive great things.

I venture on thee wholly, fully,

my wind, sunshine, anchor, defence.

The voyage is long, the waves high, the storms pitiless

but my helm is held steady,

thy Word secures safe passage,

thy grace wafts me onward,

my haven is guaranteed.

This day will bring me nearer home,

Grant me holy consistency in every transaction,

my peace flowing as a running tide,

my righteousness as every chasing wave.

Help me to live circumspectly,

with skill to convert every care into prayer,

Halo my path with gentleness and love,

smooth every asperity of temper;

let me not forget how easy it is to occasion grief;

may I strive to bind up every wound,

and pour oil on all troubled waters.

May the world this day be happier and better

because I live.

Let my mast before me be the Savior’s cross,

and every oncoming wave the fountain

in his side.

Help me, protect me in the moving sea

until I reach the shore of unceasing praise.

[Painting: Floundering in a gale, George Philip Reinagle]


Meanwhile…

if you’re struggling with depression (as I do!).

For readers from the United States….

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, please seek help from a local resource.

February 27, 2024
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STUDY: Simple blood test predicts schizophrenia risk

STUDY: Simple blood test predicts schizophrenia risk

written by Christian Heinze

Researchers at the Indiana University School of Medicine have published a new study in Molecular Psychiatry that offers a pretty simple blood test to predict both the likelihood of developing schizophrenia and current severity in those afflicted with it.

What a feat.

Using ten years worth of data, the scientists found key biomarkers associated with hallucinations (PPP3CB, DLG1, ENPP2, ZEB2, and RTN4,and delusions (AUTS2, MACROD2, NR4A2, PDE4D, PDP1, and RORA).

They also found the key biological pathways, as well.

Now here’s a clutch part.

Armed with this knowledge, scientists were able to “flip the system and accurately predict schizophrenia states and future risks from blood tests.”

That’s huge.

The early stages of schizophrenia are often undetectable, yet the damage is cumulative, so the earlier the diagnosis and beginning of treatment, the better.

Now doctors will be able to use a blood test to check for these biomarkers and go from there.

It’s a remarkably important development.

And here’s where it gets even more significant.

David Nield, for Science Alert: “Some of the biomarkers highlighted by the researchers are already being targeted by drugs prescribed for other conditions, which could potentially speed up their development in relation to schizophrenia.

“Fortunately, biologically some of the existing medications work quite well if initiated early in the right patients,” says [Neuroscientist Alexander] Niculescu. “Social support is also paramount, and once that and medications are in place, psychological support and therapy can help as well.”

In other words, not only does this study offer the promise of diagnosing earlier, but it also points in the direction (already!) of what might be the most effective early treatment.

Those are two giant steps.

Now, I want to mention something.

If you want to read just how unsettling and difficult hallucinations and delusions can be, click on this piece by Hannah Owens, a mental health professional who talks about her own hallucinations and delusions.

Also, here’s a good medical journal overview on schizophrenia, a simpler guide from the Cleveland Clinic, and from WebMd, types of therapies and medication.

[Photo: Via the public domain, thanks to the NIMH, that is a map of the deficits in neural tissue in a patient with schizophrenia].

February 27, 2024
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Get in touch with me

Contact here. 

The Weary Christian mission:

First off:

 

In the United States, find a psychiatrist here.

In the United States, find a therapist here.

If you’re in the United States and having thoughts of harming yourself or others, please call the National Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

If you’re in the UK, get urgent help here.

Canada, here.

Australia, here.

New Zealand, here.

South Africa, here.

France, here.

Germany, here.

Portugal, here.

Mexico, here.

India, here.

The Philippines, here.

Singapore, here.

South Korea, here.

 

The Weary Christian goal…

 

a) reduce the stigma surrounding depression, anxiety, OCD, and other conditions in the Christian community.

 

b) have uncomfortable but honest conversations.

 

c) Reduce the stigma surrounding antidepressants, antipsychotics, and other meds God has given us as gifts.

 

And…

 

d) Sometimes (tons of times), we all feel really, really depressed in our journey. Hopefully, this site makes you feel less alone.

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