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Humility and Despair

In her book Acedia & Me, Kathleen Norris writes about just how important humility is when trying to fight despair.

Then she points to a passage on despair from one of Kierkegaard’s journals, in 1847.

Soren The Spell-Check Murderer Kierkegaard:

“I must never, at any moment, presume to say that there is now way out for God because I cannot see any.

For it is despair and presumption to confuse one’s pittance of imagination with the possibility over which God disposes.”

True and wonderful.

But in keeping with the site’s mission, I offer my continual “But remember.”

If humility doesn’t help your despair, don’t despair! It doesn’t mean your humility is defective, it probably just means your brain is.

Remember, spiritualism can combat some spiritual despair, but for most depressives, despair — even spiritual despair — doesn’t have a spiritual basis.

Medical depression leads to existential despair, which includes spiritual despair.

And it’s absolutely vital to remember that you must treat medical depression, first and foremost, as a medical condition and with the medicine God has given us.

After all, spirituality might help us battle cancer, emotionally, but we use medicine to treat us.

So, as much as we should value and consider what Kierkegaard says, again don’t despair if humility doesn’t help your despair. You’re not a bad Christian. You probably just have a medical condition that leads to despair.

Talk to your doctor.

January 20, 2020

A few tips for dealing with your child’s anxiety

written by Christian Heinze

The Week has a good look at how kids react to their anxieties (some throw tantrums that are part of the fight response; others disappear inward, as part of the flight response).

But the particularly interesting part for those of us with clinical anxiety was reading just how incredibly important it is for parents to model healthy responses to anxiety for their children.

Claire Gillespie, writing in The Week:

“Kids learn what they see. “Parents should evaluate their own anxiety and make sure they’re not modeling any excessively anxious thoughts or behaviors,” Krawiec says. “Of course, some anxiety is good, keeps us safe, and helps us to know right from wrong, but too much of it can be limiting psychologically, socially, and developmentally. Kids can learn anxious responses, and interpret anxiety, from their parent — trauma reactions can be passed through generations.”

There’s a name for this in psychology: social referencing. “This refers to the idea that children look to adults to understand how to regulate and manage their own emotions, says licensed clinical psychologist Melanie English, Ph.D., MSW.

“An adult might imagine being on an airplane with some turbulence; we might look around at other passengers to see if they are concerned or not with the turbulence,” she says. “If those passengers aren’t bothered we might feel fine; if we see others becoming upset, we might also feel upset. Like this example, our children will look to us to interpret a situation and how to react to it.”

If parents can positively address the negative feelings they experience (anxiety, stress, conflict, etc.), they can mirror that their kids — and you have a potentially life changing teaching moment right there. “Our children will inevitably see our anxieties, struggles, conflicts, bad days, and worst moods (welcome to life!), but we can identify and model to them why we might feel that way and how we handle it,” English says. “In turn, they will understand that there are sometimes uncomfortable feelings and emotions in this world but there are tools to try and address them.”

Now, the article goes on to make a very important point.

You don’t have to hide your anxieties from your kids. In fact, you probably shouldn’t.

Kids need to see that we struggle with life the way they do, and it can turn into a net positive if we show them that a) we’ve got anxieties, too and b) there are ways to cope with them.

It’s enormously helpful for kids to feel they’re not alone in their anxieties, that it’s a normal human response God put in our brains, and that there are ways to cope with it.

January 17, 2020

Yup, wow

written by Christian Heinze

The 17th century London bookseller, Edward Fisher — quoted in Michael Reeves’ book, Rejoicing in Christ.

“Whence it must needs follow that you cannot be condemned, except Christ be condemned with you; neither can Christ be saved, except you be saved with him.”

January 16, 2020

Massive study shows genetic basis for comorbid anxiety and depression

written by Christian Heinze

Most people who have depression also have anxiety. And vice versa.

Although, at a gut level, it makes sense (after all, if you’re extraordinarily anxious about something, it makes sense that might lead to depression), researchers haven’t been able to figure out if there’s a genetic link between comorbid anxiety and depression.

But now they’re starting to understand more, thanks to a new study.

From Yale.Edu:

“A massive genome-wide analysis of approximately 200,000 military veterans has identified six genetic variants linked to anxiety, researchers from Yale and colleagues at other institutions report Jan. 7 in the American Journal of Psychiatry.

Some of the variants associated with anxiety had previously been implicated as risk factors for bipolar disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, and schizophrenia.

The new study further contributes the first convincing molecular explanation for why anxiety and depression often coexist.

“This is the richest set of results for the genetic basis of anxiety to date,” said co-lead author Joel Gelernter of Yale, the Foundations Fund Professor of Psychiatry, professor of genetics and of neuroscience. “There has been no explanation for the comorbidity of anxiety and depression and other mental health disorders, but here we have found specific, shared genetic risks.”

Some variants were linked to genes that help govern gene activity or, intriguingly, to a gene involved in the functioning of receptors for the sex hormone estrogen. While this finding might help explain why women are more than twice as likely as men to suffer from anxiety disorders, researchers stressed that the variant affecting estrogen receptors was identified in a veteran cohort made up mostly of men, and said further investigation is necessary.

Another of the newly discovered anxiety gene variants, MAD1L1, whose function is not fully understood, was also highly notable. Variants of this gene have already been linked to bipolar disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, and schizophrenia.”

Painting: Untitled by Monica Rahen

January 16, 2020

Lauv talks about his OCD

written by Christian Heinze

Lauv (the “I like me better when I’m with you” singer) writes an essay for People about his struggles with depression and OCD.

“I had spent almost the entire month of January in bed, trapped by obsessive negative thoughts and the need to organize them. My anxiety was at an all-time high, perpetually making me feel like life was on the brink of imploding.

But in my head, I thought I just had to think my way out of it. In reality, I had fallen out of love with everything I used to care about, including the one thing that always brought me purpose: music.

I was living with a vague, haunting sense of disconnection from everyone else (almost as if a blanket had been placed between me and the world). But in my head, I just had to find the one fix (which, by the way, was an ever-changing, made-up idea I had created in my mind).

Distraught and exhausted, I decided to let my friends and family in. And that helped a lot. But after weeks of endlessly cycling conversations with my friends, family and team, I realized I was stuck.

The thing with OCD is that talking about your obsessions can feel really good — like really, really good — because that is the compulsion: the act of relief. But that relief only lasts for a moment. Then, it’s back to obsessing.”

Note how he talks about feeling “stuck.”

I just posted a new study, based on thousands of functional MRI’s, showing why people with depression and OCD get stuck in their negativity.

Basically, the part of their brain that says “move on” just doesn’t work as actively as it does in healthy brains.

You want to move on — every part of you knows you need to, you should, but you just can’t.

So what helped Lauv? Therapy and medication.

[Photo: Glenn Francis]

December 7, 2019

When one truth makes us forget another

written by Christian Heinze

Brennan Manning, in Abba’s Child:

“Has the thunder of ‘God loved the world so much’ been so muffled by the roar of religious rhetoric that we are deaf to the word that God could have tender feelings for us?”

December 6, 2019

The burden of forcing cheer

written by Christian Heinze

Vaneetha Rendall Risner, writing in her book, The Scars that Have Shaped Me: How God Meets us in Suffering.

“I used to respond by actively refocusing my mind, determined to have a positive attitude.

But doing so left me even emptier and unhappier than before.

Then I realized that Scripture never mandates that we constantly act upbeat.

God wants us to come to him in truth.

And so the Bible doesn’t whitewash the raw emotions of its writers as they cry out to God in anguish, fear, and frustration when life ceases to make sense.”

December 2, 2019

“In my Father’s house, there’s a place for me”

written by Christian Heinze

When I’m depressed, I can’t grasp it. When I’m not, I can’t grasp it. There is always an element of doubt to the most wonderful things, because there is always some amount of disbelief to wonder. You can’t really even feel awe without doubt.

But as Jesus says to a doubting John the Baptist in Luke, “The blind see, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cured.”

And to our doubts, as he prays to the Father in John 17: “I want these whom you have given me to be where I am.”

And Jesus is in a good place.

Hillsong:

“Who am I that the highest King would welcome me?

I was lost but he brought me in — oh, his love for me.

Who the Son sets free, oh is free indeed.

I’m a child of God, yes, I am.

In my Father’s house, there’s a place for me.

I’m a child of God, yes I am.

I am chosen, not forsaken. I am who you say I am.

You are for me, not against me.”

November 24, 2019

STUDY: Exercise lowers risk of depression, even if you’ve got the genes for it

written by Christian Heinze

There are already loads of studies, suggesting that a) exercise has a protective benefit against developing depression b) can help reduce symptoms for those who already have it.

In other words, if you exercise and don’t have depression, you’ll be less likely to get it.

And if you have depression and exercise, it might help reduce symptoms.

But a brand new study adds an extra layer to the relationship between exercise and depression.

The study from Harvard, published in the Journal of Depression and Anxiety, found that exercise reduced the likelihood of developing depression, even among those who have genetic risk for it — including people with the most extreme, genetic risk.

In other words, even if your dad, mom, brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles all have depression, exercise reduces the likelihood you’ll get it (Although, genetic risk, even in this study, is still is strongly associated with the development of depression).

So how much exercise, you ask?

Well, the researchers found that 35 minutes/day was protective against developing depression. If you double that amount, your risk drops another 17%.

So what type of exercise, you ask?

Well, both high-intensity (think Peloton, gladiators, dancing etc) and lower intensity exercise (think yoga and stretching) worked.

So that’s great.

As I said, it’s the first study to look at exercise’s relationship with a genetic risk of developing depression. Huge addition to the field.

Researcher Dr. Karmel Choi:

“Our findings strongly suggest that, when it comes to depression, genes are not destiny and that being physically active has the potential to neutralize the added risk of future episodes in individuals who are genetically vulnerable.”
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/327037.php#3

NOW…. I’m going to add my eternal disclaimer to studies like these.

As I said, if your mom, dad, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters all have depression, you’re still likely to get it, too. Exercise just reduces risk.

I don’t mean to be negative about the genetic thing — only realistic.

One of the worst aspects of the well-meaning wellness field is its tendency to, I believe, set people up for disappointment by setting unrealistic expectations.

So you visit a wellness coach or a nutritionist and they regale you with studies like these and say you can be “cured,” and it’s always good to try, but when exercise or diet fail to “cure” you, it can leave you more depressed than before.

You’re tempted to think, “What’s wrong with me? The professional told me diet and exercise would work, and it doesn’t help me. I must be truly awful.”

That can send you on a further spiral because you feel you’re the exception to the wellness coach’s rule. No, actually, if it doesn’t help, you’re more the rule. You have vast company. Don’t feel terrible that it’s not working for you. It doesn’t work for a lot of people.

So take heart, if your spirit fails when this doesn’t work for you. There are millions like you and me. And by the way, Michael Phelps has struggled mightily with depression and I’d guess he exercised more than 35 minutes/day.

But still — GET OFF THE COUCH. Unless you’re watching stuff about politics. Then, I promise, your mood will improve.

[Art: Antonio Niccolini, Gladiators Fighting Animals in the Circus At Pompeii]

November 22, 2019

Update – surgery

written by Christian Heinze

Hi ya’ll,

I haven’t been posting much the past few weeks, thanks to some bad wrist pain, and I go into surgery tomorrow for it. I’ll be back typing and scrolling etc, Lordwilling, in a few weeks — maybe mid-November.

Thanks for your patience!

Christian

October 22, 2019

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