LIVING WITH FAITH AND DEPRESSION
Christian Youtuber, Tiffany Dawn, talks about the slow process of realizing (through a doctor’s help) that many of her physical problems stemmed from her anxiety, and that it took many years of work with a professional counselor for her depression and anxiety to finally ebb.
I’d recommend the quick, six minute video — what I particularly appreciate it is that she highlights how important counseling is, and how God works through it.
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
A classic from the 1980s.
Steve Camp’s, “He’s all you need.”
Note: Christ is all you need for salvation.
For depression, you might need medication and/or therapy. Both of which can be wonderful means of grace, and have saved my life. Not my soul, but my life.
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
Steve Camp, “He’s all you need”
When you’re alone, and your heart is torn, he is all you need.
When you’re confused, and your soul is bruised, he is all you need.
He’s the rock of your soul, he’s the anchor that holds
Through your desperate time.
When your way is unsure, his love will endure, and peace you will find
Through all your years, the joy, the tears, he is all you need
When you give in to that familiar sin, he is all you need
Guilt has you paralyzed, it slowly it eats you alive, he is all you need
He’ll be faithful to you, though your heart is untrue
And your love’s grown cold
His forgiveness is real, it’ll comfort and heal your sin-weary soul
Well, God loves you so, he’ll never let you go
He is all you need.
He’ll be faithful to you, though your heart is untrue
And your love’s grown cold
His forgiveness is real, to comfort and heal your sin-weary soul
Through all your years, the joy, the tears, he is all you need.
A brand new study, published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, titled “Maladaptive blame-related action tendencies are associated with Vulnerability to Major Depressive Disorder,” well, that pretty much says it.
If you’ve ever had depression, you’re going to say “yup” about a lot of these findings.
But first, what makes this study particularly interesting is that it looked at people with a history of depression who now felt their symptoms had resolved.
They called it “remitted depression.”
I’d recommend reading Eric Dolan’s write-up on the study at PsyPost, but here’s the gist:
-Researchers compared a group of patients with a history of depression, who were now symptom free vs. those who had never had depression.
-The two groups were asked to rate how they’d feel during a hypothetical conflict with their best friend.
-Then, the two groups were asked to pick an action they’d most strongly feel like doing.
The remitted depression group was more likely to feel like hiding, creating distance from themselves, and apologizing even when their friend had been guilty of the wrongdoing in the hypothetical conflict.
In other words, even though their depressive symptoms had remitted, they displayed a different set of blame-related actions than the group who had never experienced depression.
As the study author’s note, these maladaptive tendencies were independent of the type of emotion, thus “unveiling novel cognitive markers and neurocognitive treatments.”
Now veering only slightly from the topic.
Scientists have already established that people with depression are more likely to experience moral emotions related to self-blame — which includes guilt and shame.
And in turn, you can feel guilty about your depression. Which makes things even harder.
This is why Christians with depression have to be careful about churches and ministries (of which there are many) that obsess over guilt.
“You can only preach the Good News if you tell the Bad News that we’re all sinners and guilty before God.”
True.
But once we’re forgiven, we’re forgiven.
God forgets our sin, forgives every future sin, and we’re now his children.
Remember, “if we are faithless, he remains faithful.”
Nothing can separate us from God’s love, and that includes any sin — past, present, or future.
The Bible is absolutely clear about this, and yet many ministries want you to dwell on your guilt.
I suppose their thinking is, “The more horrible you think you are, the more wonderful you’ll think Christ.”
But the more horrible you think you are, the less likely you’ll be able to believe in and trust Christ’s grace…..And the more likely you’ll think you’re beyond repair.
Again, because of our medical condition of depression, Christians with depression are particularly likely to wallow in the guilt and self-blame that keeps us from trusting God’s love.
It’s still a battle for me. Big-time.
That’s why it’s important for us to avoid Christian preachers and teachers who almost seem to glory in the inglorious, who seem to think it’s righteous to continually dwell on how unrighteous we are, who keep Christians permanently guessing whether they’re really Christians or not.
But as Brennan Manning writes, God probably sees you and says, “I expect more failure from you than you expect from yourself!”
In other words: our sins don’t surprise God, he expects them. Hence, Christ.
Manning continues: “Are you moody and melancholy because you are still striving for the perfection that comes from your own efforts and not from faith in Jesus Christ? Are you shocked and horrified when you fail? Are you really aware that you don’t have to change, grow, or be good to be loved?”
We sin all the time, and will continue doing so, and that’s why God’s mercies are new every morning.
I often think of my own kids (and we’re God’s kids, of course). When they do something wrong, do I want them to wallow in guilt?
No, that’s a tragic thought!
That’s the last thing I want. I want, more than anything, for them to understand that they’re loved, no matter what.
Satan can’t take away our salvation, but he certainly tries to take away our assurance of that salvation when we sin. He certainly tries to convince us we’ve passed the point of no return.
And unfortunately, far too many ministers preach guilt and not grace.
I’ll finish with this, from Manning’s book, The Wisdom of Tenderness.
“I’ve listened to people with low self-esteem say something like ‘I simply can’t accept that Jesus’ feelings toward me are different than my own’.
In other words, the person is saying, ‘I won’t allow Jesus to be Jesus in my life.’
Such intransigence not only preempts the possibility of living each day in the wisdom of tenderness; it also consigns the speaker to a lonely and loveless existence that disallows Jesus from being the Savior who sets us free from fear of the Father and from dislike of ourselves.”
[Photo: Pexels, free stock photography]
Psychologists at the Maudsley Hospital in South-East London have developed an absolutely fascinating, potential treatment for those who suffer from anorexia.
You can read about it here, but this is the gist.
-You put on a virtual reality headset, and then set off into a virtual kitchen, which is filled with all kinds of food that victims of anorexia would normally avoid.
-The individuals can pick up the food, virtually, they can interact with it, virtually, but of course, they can’t eat it, virtually.
-That makes them feel more comfortable being around the food, and as such represents the Exposure and Response Therapy portion of the program.
-The cool thing is that this can be a transition step to actually coming, literally, face-to-face with the food, because they’re interacting with it in the virtual environment. And while it can be triggering, it’s less threatening than if they were to see it, in person.
Dr. Valentina Cardi, a clinical psychologist who specializes in eating disorders at King’s College, said that, so far, 178 of 180 patients enrolled in the trial say they feel less anxious around those foods.
One patient told The Daily Mail that he was formerly so scared of real-world pasta that he couldn’t even look at it.
But once he started interacting with it virtually, he began, over time, to lose his fear.
One month later, after treatment, he ate an actual plate of pasta.
What a great idea, and let’s pray the trials continue and can offer relief.
Anorexia is the most deadly psychiatric disorder, according to WebMd.
Those with anorexia are 4x more likely to die from their condition than those with major depression.
And those diagnosed in their 20s are 18x more likely to die earlier than healthy people of their age.
Further, 20% of deaths from anorexia are due to suicide.
It is just a deadly, deadly and tragic condition.
The Mayo Clinic has a really important guide on spotting symptoms of anorexia.
You can start the process of finding professional treatment here.
[Photo: Pexels, free stock photography]
Nick Page, in his book on midlife crises, Dark Night of The Shed, interviews two unnamed church leaders who explain how difficult church can be during this time of life.
The first:
“It feels horrible, as a church leader. It feels horrible that you can’t be honest. Because this is a stage when you’re feeling very vulnerable and very tender and you can’t.”
The second:
“My experience is that church becomes a worse and worse place. At first you just love it. You like worship, you like small groups, you like sermons, you like everything.
But after a while, you realize that stuff doesn’t really transform your character. You’re receiving a lot of information, but not transformation.
At it is the lack of transformation that becomes so dissatisfying at this stage of life.”
*****************************************************************
End quotes.
Of course, those experiences aren’t universal, but the reason I post that excerpt from Page’s book is that those experiences are almost universally hidden.
So you’re not alone if you’re finding yourself struggling with church — at midlife, or any part of life.
I’ve found there’s so much clutter to the expression of American Christianity, and in that clutter, we can lose Christ.
Not our salvation, but our experience of it.
And that tends to be worse at mid-life, when everything seems to get more cluttered.
Suddenly, the limitless possibilities of youth are stopped cold by the limited certainties of age.
As Page writes, the German term for “mid-life crisis” is Torschlusspanik, which is “door-shut-panic.”
You used to have all the time in the world to do all the things in the world.
Now you just have an afternoon, and you can only really do a few things, and the double-gut punch is that they’re not the things you really want to do.
Everyone eventually feels this. Christian or not.
And we feel guilty because Christians are never supposed to be in crisis. We’re supposed to be the ones who help those in crisis.
And we do help those in crisis. But we have crises of our own, because we’re as human as anyone else.
And the sad thing is that acknowledging, “I’m having a mid-life crisis” implies that you marriage is on the rocks, your spirituality is faltering, and you’d like to have an affair.
So we shut up about it, and too often then, shut down on life.
Page writes: “Many middle-aged men feel split in two: there is a vast difference between the person we present to the world and the one who lies awake at night.”
I write this on Sunday morning, and you probably went to church today, but last night, you were maybe wondering why in the world you were going to go to church again tomorrow morning, and you couldn’t let anyone know you were wondering why.
You didn’t even tell God you were wondering why, even though he knew it.
And I’m convinced the reason you wonder why is because the clutter of middle age can barely handle the clutter of church.
The melancholy nostalgia of middle-age can barely handle a church that seems fundamentally opposed to any expression of melancholy or nostalgia.
So what do we do?
A few quick ideas.
Remind ourselves that Christ is the opposite of clutter. And you can find him, like the thief, by just looking towards him on the cross you share, forgetting everything around you. The madness of the crowds, the noise, all that life that suffocates life.
And you focus on the simplicity of the Gospel.
And then what about that melancholy nostalgia?
Well, that’s still something I’m working on.
It’s just always going to be there, because that’s how I’m wired. Some aren’t. They just press forward without any instinct or desire to look back.
I envy them.
But for me, there’s one thing I’ve started doing to deal with that nostalgia.
As I see something I want to do, something that youth would allow and maybe once did, — I tell God, “In the kingdom, I’d like to do that, go there, be that.”
To be trite, my BUCKET list isn’t for this life. It’s for paradise.
It’s a way of truthfully telling God about our unfulfilled longings in life, while looking forward to the next one.
Some might think that selfish — to long for a paradise where we’ll finally find the life we wanted. But Jesus seemed to think we’d be pretty pleased.
And the God who died so you could experience that paradise — well, that’s got to be something else, doesn’t it.
But in the meantime, a therapist or psychiatrist can help you grapple with some of these things.
So as always, I’ll end with:
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
The World Health Organization, this week, published a scientific brief, detailing the scale of Covid-19’s effect on global mental health during its first year (2020).
Some of the key statistics and findings.
-Global prevalence of depression and anxiety spiked by 25%.
-Young people and women were hit hardest by the mental health effects.
-Essential workers were hardest hit. Health care workers’ exhaustion was a major trigger for suicidal thinking.
-Those with pre-existing conditions that might raise their risk of fatality from Covid, such as cancer, heart disease, and asthma, were more likely to develop symptoms of mental disorders.
-Those with pre-existing mental disorders weren’t more likely to be infected with Covid, but were more likely to be hospitalized.
-Mental health services were severely disrupted — more so than other health services. That obviously led to a vicious cycle whereby those with pre-existing conditions were less likely to be able to access services, and those who were in the midst of developing new mental disorders were less likely to seek care.
-Even though 90% of countries say they’ve stepped up their mental health services, there is still a massive shortage.
Clearly, this is going to be a generational mental health problem for those who have survived this horrible disease.
You can find a Covid vaccine here.
And you can…
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
[Photo: Pexels, free stock photography]
A new study, published in the academic journal, PLOSONE, suggests that a number of music and other auditory stimuli like ABS (auditory beat stimulation) can help reduce symptoms of trait anxiety.
I’d recommend reading Corrie Pelc’s write-up on the study in Medical News Today, but here’s the bite sized verison.
First, a few definitions.
ABS “uses sound waves to produce combination tones, binaural beats, or monaural beats […] with the intention of producing a neural frequency following response.”
Trait Anxiety refers to a “relatively stable disposition within the individual to judge a wide range of environmental events as potentially threatening.”
If you don’t have trait anxiety, you might not get what that means. If so, awesome.
If you do have trait anxiety, you know exactly the feeling that definition describes, so I need say know more.
Anyway, as context, the study’s lead author told Medical News Today that past research shows music can have a powerful effect on anxiety.
However, it seems that music can be particularly powerful when it’s personally curated and matches the individual’s current state of mood.
You and I can relate.
Sometimes a melancholy song hurts too much, sometimes it’s exactly what we need when we’re melancholy.
Only we know.
Sometimes a hymn can mean a great deal, other times, it can provoke trauma from childhood churches that simultaneously sang those hymns while soon thereafter preaching a graceless gospel of a jesus who was anything but loving (I don’t capitalize “Jesus” there, because it was anything but the real Jesus) .
Only we know whether that will help.
For example, I have a friend who can’t hear the Doxology without spiraling into a pit of trauma.
It’s not the words, it’s the context where they heard the words.
So the study.
The team put participants in four groups: 1) a playlist personally created by AI for the person + ABS. 2) Music playlist only 3) ABS only 4) Pink noise only.
Some findings:
–Participants with “moderate trait anxiety” experienced the largest reduction in symptoms when listening to a combo of ABS and the AI-personalized music playlist.
–Participants with “high trait anxiety” experienced the most relief from their anxiety symptoms when listening ONLY to their AI-curated music playlist. In other words, no ABS.
There are a number of potential reasons for why ABS appeared to help for some, but not others, but I won’t get into that here.
But the point is — this is more scientific proof that music YOU like, that fits your mood at the moment, can help relieve symptoms of trait anxiety.
The researchers are next going to look into a study where this phenomenon is measured over a longer period of time, to test whether it can provide lasting relief.
And yes, as I write this, I’m listening to a Spotify playlist that never fails, regardless of mood, strangely.
If you struggle with anxiety.
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
And find salvation that leads to resurrection at death here: Jesus: “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except by me.”
One of my favorites here.
One of my favorite songs from Pet Shop Boys. For every hurting human, who manages to keep going while hurting.
“Many roads will cross through many lives
But somehow you survive.”
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
Find salvation here: Jesus: “I am the way, the truth, and the life.”
If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself or others, please call the National Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
And now, the beautiful song.
Dr. Brittney Chesworth has a good read on a phenomenon that was growing even before Covid made it more prevalent — “Health Anxiety.”
I’ve written about it extensively, having developed it after becoming a dad, and if you struggle with this enormously challenging and often private battle, I’d suggest you read her article.
And then, of course, look for a therapist or psychiatrist.
But Chesworth notes that people with health anxiety often fall into “all-or-nothing” thinking where they think of health as binary.
They think they’re either perfectly healthy or deathly ill.
For example, take a suspicious mole on your arm.
Someone with health anxiety might immediately think it’s melanoma that’s spread.
In reality, it could be completely benign, or if it is, indeed, cancerous, it could be a much less serious basal cell carcinoma (Plopped in the middle of seriousness between basal cell and malignant melanoma is a squamous cell carcinoma).
There’s a spectrum of skin cancers, and while something might be wrong with that mole, it doesn’t mean death is imminent.
So one of the roots of health anxiety, Chesworth notes, is seeing “health and illness in rigid, inflexible terms.”
An inability to see that “health,” however it’s defined, is a spectrum.
No one’s body is perfectly healthy, but not every person is facing imminent death.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Chesworth suggests, is particularly helpful in challenging cognitive distortions such as the “all-or-nothing” thinking that’s common in health anxiety.
Finally, I want to mention this.
Thanks to the theological errors underpinning “victorious Christian living,” Christians often feel particularly ashamed of fearing physical suffering.
This, despite the fact that Jesus took physical suffering, deadly seriously.
He told John’s disciples of his ministry in Matthew 11, “The blind see, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor.”
That was proof of his Messiahship, and many of those proofs were about alleviating physical suffering.
Jesus understood the pain of physical suffering and he certainly dreaded the cross.
Yet Christians today often adopt some kind of pseudo-gnosticism where they dismiss physical suffering because this life is all about the soul.
And so, scores of Christians with health anxiety are shamed into silence by a church that promotes faulty theology.
If you’re looking to engage with others who struggle with health anxiety, I’ve found No More Panic a particularly good discussion board, as well as Beyond Blue.
And finally.
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
[Painting: You know it. What’s the connection to this post? Well a) I try to put as much art on here as possible and b) did you know that one professor of pathological anatomy believes that Lisa del Giocondo, the supposed inspiration for The Mona Lisa, suffered from high cholesterol?
He came to this diagnosis after noticing fatty acid buildups on her left eyelid — called xanthelasma. You will also notice that she has a small lipoma on her right hand. A lipoma is a benign fatty tissue tumor common in those with high cholesterol.
Ruth Chou Simons, writing in When Strivings Cease — a book that gracefully rebukes the dangerous “gospel of self-improvement,” which is so prevalent these days in some circles, and also threatens our neurotic spiritual lives.
“We are living the now and not yet.
And in this in between, we can mistake not yet for not enough if we’re not grounded in what the Bible actually says about God’s favor and how we receive it.
We’re not yet sinless, but his forgiveness is enough to make us clean.
We’re not yet with him face-to-face, but his presence is enough to sustain us.
We’re not yet fully transformed, but his glory is enough to declare us worthy.
Instead of deeply rooting ourselves within the substance of God’s grace, we keep trying to fit grace into the framework of our own soil for success — a framework that feeds on our innate pressure to perform and seeks to sustain a standard that disappoints no one.”