Shane Schaeur is a worship pastor and singer/songwriter from Arkansas, who recently won ChristianSongwriting’s prestigious Songwriter of the Year award.
He’s got an incredible career ahead of him, and partly because I’ve never talked with a worship leader who’s been so honest about his Christian walk and that is exactly what the church needs from its leaders, and exactly what Christians are desperate to hear.
Christian culture, these days, is all about “authenticity,” but when it comes down to it, very few are willing to say what that looks like.
Laura Turner recently talked about “curated imperfection” — a popular phenomenon where Christians talk about how “messy” and “broken” they are, but won’t share anything that’s truly messy or broken.
Well, Schaeur does.
As he talks about trying to cope with gut-wrenching news, Schaeur says, “There were many Sundays where I was angry at the same God I was encouraging other people to worship.”
How do you do that?
It’s hard enough for me to sit in church while I’m angry at God. But to actually get up on stage, and lead a large congregation in worship while you feel that way?
So again: how do you do that? Schaeur explains below.
Thank the Lord for Schaeur’s honesty, his music, and he and his wife’s story.
Our conversation below, as well as some of Schaeur’s music, after the interview.
Weary Christian: Your EP (“It’s Not Over”) resonates with people who battle depression and anxiety. People who read Isaiah’s promise that those who hope in the Lord will “soar on wings like eagles,” and yet feel completely dead on the ground.
You speak, I guess, sing to us. Can you tell us what drove you to write this music?
SCHAEUR: Six years ago, my wife and I found out we were going to be facing the reality of infertility. When seeking medical advice, we found out it would be very difficult or impossible for us to have a baby.
For particularly my wife, that was maybe the worst news you could ever be told. That’s what she aspired to. She wanted to have children and be a mom. From an early age, if you asked her what she wanted to be, that’s what it was. So when we were given that news, it was the worst thing we could’ve been told.
Clinical depression and anxiety were already a reality in my wife’s life, and that’s a part of her journey she’s walked through for the majority of her life.
So when news like this came, it penetrated that world of darkness and depression and emptiness and confusion and anger in her. And in me.
But then, having to watch my wife go through that? And still, to this day, go through that? Man, it just hurt.
That sent us on this journey of anger and insecurity. Our mindset was so on us, that we didn’t get how there could be a bigger picture from something like this.
It was really hard for a long time. We eventually sought professional counseling and, in that season of our life, we learned the genuine nature and actual importance of real authenticity.
We got to a point where we were saying, “I literally don’t have the energy to put myself together. I’ve tried to do that for so long.”
I was still in full-time ministry at a large church. Part of my job is putting myself together and walking with other people. But my wife and I had gotten to the point where we just couldn’t put ourselves together anymore.
With the help of professional counseling and Scripture, we learned there’s a lot of healing power in honesty, confession, and curiosity within your community and with Jesus.
That’s where we found the importance of telling people.
My wife started getting connected with other women who were struggling with infertility or who were struggling with depression. And she started writing her story down.
In the midst of all this, we told people we couldn’t do this alone. It was putting weight on our marriage and walk with Christ, and we needed brothers and sisters to lift us up. It was through that that someone planted the bug, “Have you thought about using this to maybe care for the helpless through foster care?”
We said, “No. We haven’t and probably aren’t going to.”
And the Lord started to stir that in our hearts, and long story short, we ended up opening our home to foster care to help care for the kids who are hurting – who had a lot of the same wounds we felt we had. So maybe we could give them safety.
These two little boys ended up getting placed in our homes, and they never left. That was over four years ago, and over two years ago, we officially adopted them, and they became part of the Schauer family forever.
That’s when I realized that the Lord had a bigger picture for us, and these boys are part of this plan.
Then we began to have enough outward perspective that we were able to look beyond the pain that we were, and still are, walking through in order to give life love and safety to these boys who needed it.
Whenever I was able to shake my perspective, these songs started to take form because I could see the redemptive part of God’s story. The songs were written, in part, to bring healing into my life and, hopefully, there’s a person who can connect to these songs, knowing the heart and story they came from.
Until this point, I’d never thought I’d had a story worth telling. But when this happened, I began to feel the Lord telling me, “You have a story worth telling. And you need to be authentic.”
I felt the Lord was telling me that I’d find out there were a lot of other people in the church walking through the same things, and that they’re feeling so shameful and so embarrassed about their situation that they’re not going to talk about it.
For me, and because of my passions, it came out through songwriting. I come from a rich history of musicians so my lineage is deep with music and artists, and that’s how my family has always been. I’ve always known stories are powerful, especially when you unite them with music.
Weary Christian: How did you lead worship while you were going through and feeling all that?
SCHAUER: That is a great question, my friend. It was very difficult. There were many Sundays where I had to put on a face because I was at a place where I was questioning – not God’s existence or his sovereignty – but just “Why, Lord?”
I know I’m a creator and songwriter, but believe it or not, I’m not a super emotive person by nature, but there were many Sundays during that time that I just couldn’t make it through songs.
There were days during that time I couldn’t make it through because I didn’t have the energy to sing.
But I’d been through enough to know that God is real, he does love his children, and his plan is greater. So, through all this, I had to remind myself that I had to move past my feeling and stay grounded in truth.
I’d say, “Shane, move past your feeling. Move past your feeling. Stay grounded in truth, stay grounded in truth.”
Because of that, I was able to get up on stage every Sunday and say that no matter how much I was struggling, because this was truth, we would declare it together.
And most of the people in the church knew what we were walking through.
So when they saw me get up on stage and not be able to make it through songs, they would pick up and run with it.
I think of Exodus 17 where Moses is leading his people to the Promised Land, and they come up against the Amalekite army. Moses goes up to the mountaintop and when he has his hands towards heaven, Israel is winning, but when he grows weary and puts his arms down the Amalekite army begins to win.
So Aaron and Hur go up to the mountaintop, and they sit Moses on a stool and hold up his hands for him, and that’s how the Israelites win.
On Sundays, I’d find myself sitting down on a stool, and our church community would come around us and hold up my hands so we could finish the battle.
That’s how the song “Keep My Hands Up” came about.
Weary Christian: Speaking of being authentic, I’ve never liked going to church very much. It stems partly from my depression. You walk inside church and everyone has the coffee and the big smiles and you hear the inspiring music with the light shows and people are singing about how they’re no longer slaves to fear and lifting hands.
I usually feel so disconnected from The Show of everything about the American church and what I feel in my heart. And that disconnect can fuel even deeper depression.
I think there are a lot of people who feel this way about our church these days.
As a church leader, can you think of any way to make the environment more reflective of the true Christian life?
SCHAEUR: I can speak most confidently to the worship culture in a church.
I try to create a culture of worship where people feel the freedom to express themselves and wrestle through some of these things. I still watch this battle week after week with my own wife. I’m at a large church and I sit in that discomfort that you’re talking about.
From my seat on the bus, this is what I’ve come up with so far. I try my best to move people from a deductive worship experience to an inductive worship moment.
We can get caught in a deductive worship experience, which means you come into the room and everything is aesthetically pleasing. The band sounds great, the lights are incredible, everything is good and it’s so easy to come in and sit back and enjoy the show.
And because it gets so comfortable, you can grow detached. I try to move people from that into an inductive worship moment. Instead of taking my word for it, I’m going to invite you into this moment. I’m going to get curious with you from the stage, and I’m going to allow you the freedom to wrestle through whether you really believe what you’re singing.
Take the hymn, “How Great Thou Art.”
I’m probably going to stop and ask whether you actually believe that God is great. Do you actually believe that?
If you do believe that, then tell God why you believe that right now. Because in the midst of my darkness through infertility, you brought these two kids in my life and changed their life and my life, and because of that, I’m choosing to swell up my entire soul to sing it.
But if you don’t believe that right now, tell God why. You can still be real with him about it. It doesn’t scare him.
If you’re struggling to believe that, that’s okay. Don’t stand up and sing the song with me. I don’t want you to fake it. Instead, take a moment and decide why you don’t believe it. That is an inductive worship moment. You make the moment your own.
There’s things I’m doing before I ever step on the stage, I have specific prayers I pray that the Lord would engulf our church with the thick cloud of his presence that we see throughout Scripture.
“Lord, don’t let this be about me or a show.”
From my seat on the bus, that’s what I try to do – to allow people to feel the freedom to say, “I’m not there with you.” I try to tell people that’s okay. That’s what community is for.
WC: One of my favorite lines in your music comes from “All To You,” where you sing “remind my soul” over and over. Martin Lloyd Jones famously said we need to listen less to ourselves and talk more to ourselves.
Switching gears, I always like to ask Christian artists who their favorite secular influences are. Any?
SCHAEUR: My dad was a worship pastor, and I grew up in very charismatic contemporary worship services. I grew up listening to worship music a lot. I had a lot of influences growing up, but I will say that my first instrument I ever learned was drums.
I learned how to play drums, sitting up in my bedroom, with my Walkman Cassette player and some old Sony headphones that I’d have to take to my head so they wouldn’t fall off, and I’d play drums to The Beatles Greatest Hits and Sting and the Police.
Those are the two main bands I learned to play drums to. I’d sit for hours and play those songs.
As embarrassing as this may be, to this day, one of my favorite musical influences is Justin Timberlake.
WC: We’ve been talking about being authentic this whole interview, saying Justin Timberlake is pretty authentic.
SCHAUER: I’m a huge JT fan. Dude, I’m in for some JT. So those are the three biggest secular influences I’ve had in my life. I steal a lot of vocal technique from him.
WC: So tell me about the award and your future plans?
SCHAEUR: My answer is probably different from most. I got in this world because the Lord had me on this journey, and again – hindsight is 20/20 and I’m never gonna be the one to Jesus Juke someone whenever they’re walking through something.
But we’re going through all this, and I get to this producer in Nashville, Keith Smith, and I’d never put anything out, and he got connected to me and for whatever reason, he said, “I believe in your sound and the Lord is drawing me to your story. If you’re interested, I’d love to make a record with you.”
He’s worked with everything from producing Jonas Brothers, Matt Redman, playing trumpet on Dave Barnes’ records, Ben Rector, Mosaic Music. Turns out our stories are incredibly similar. So he took a shot on me and said that if I came to Nashville, he’d get me in a room with writers to help craft the story.
We put the album out, it went really well and some churches wanted to sing the songs and some radio stations wanted to play it. So I just leaned into it, and asked some advice, and someone said I should submit to this songwriting competition. They chose it and part of that prize was radio promotion and fifteen or twenty more radio stations started playing it.
Through that, I got connected with some of the guys from Vertical Worship, ended up cowriting a song called “Real with You,” and we recorded it with Lauren Smith. It’s been a whirlwind. I’m not an industry dude, I’m not out there pushing things to try to get a record label to sign me, I’m just trying to tell my story.
My calling is to lead worship at my church. That will always be my primary focus — to help shepherd my local church and their theology of church. And when time allows, I’ll travel and go share my story.
One of the biggest niches for me has been foster care and adoption non-profit organizations. After we adopted, we ended up closing our home, at least for now. So our way to continue to serve that community and care for the orphans is through donating my services to organizations like that. I’ll travel around and play music and tell my story.
As far as more music, more music is on the way. Church and family is my focus. New songs are going to be written and recorded.
WC: Thanks so much for sharing your story.
For more of Shane’s music, visit his website. Follow on Instagram.
Schaeur’s award-winning song: “All To You”
“Real with You”, feat. Lauren Smith.
BIO: Shane Schauer is a worship pastor and artist currently serving in Fayetteville, AR at Cross Church, pastored by Dr. Nick Floyd. His deep desire to see God’s people experience breakthrough in worship has only grown because of his own journey.
Shane and Chelsea’s journey of spiritual and emotional healing, and now their hearts for adoption are what led Shane to begin writing for his debut EP “It’s Not Over”, and its follow-up single, “ Real with you”. The songs will lead listeners into a place of confession, hope, and worship with the end-goal of breaking down walls and allowing God to invade every part of our lives. “It’s my desire that believers experience Christ through worship in a fresh, authentic, and biblical way, and I hope that passion shows through every part of my life.”
“It’s Not Over” represents the local church at her best. The album speaks a rare truth about healing and what it looks like to walk any journey connected to Jesus. The journey Shane and his family have taken not only inspired these lyrics, but is proof that what he sings about is real. Don’t just label this a worship album…these songs are stories of healing. And it has no shortage of familiar names involved.
