Albert Camus, writing in The Stranger, of that monster called dread:
“Throughout the whole absurd life I’d lived, a dark wind had been rising toward me from somewhere deep in my future, across years that were still to come.”
Of course, as Christians with depression and anxiety disorders, we know exactly what he’s talking about.
In fact, you can’t escape those feelings if you have a mental health disorder. They’re part of it, just like high blood sugar is part of diabetes.
The great preacher, Charles Spurgeon, famously said:
“There is a kind of mental darkness, in which you are disturbed, perplexed, worried, troubled – not, perhaps, about anything tangible.”
So this isn’t just the despair of Camus. It’s the despair of a disease that Charles Spurgeon, that you and I, as Christians, also experience.
And I think a lot of us find great comfort in knowing we’re not alone.
But as Christians, we also know that those feelings tell us nothing about the fact — the amazing fact — that we are beloved children of God.
And that, while Jesus promises a life of tribulation, he also promises the former things that are so present, and that we fear are so future as dread takes over — these will all just be “former” one day.
As Neil Tennant sings of that moment, “These former things are passed away. Another life begins today.”
Our “another life” will begin one day.
Until then, we keep going, no matter the dark wind you dread from the future.
And you know what — that’s not your future, that’s not mine.
Depression wants us to tell us it is, but who are you going to believe — The Lord who died for you, or depression which kind of wants to ruin us?
We stand with the Lord, because he stood for us. By God’s grace, we stand with him. As Brennan Manning wrote, “All is mercy.” All is mercy.
If you’re struggling, find a psychiatrist here, a therapist here. Keep going, faithful one! And the faithful one will not abandon you.
And he promises, he will not leave you as an orphan.
