A brand new study from Epic Research finds that birth order is correlated with an increased likelihood of experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression in children at their 8 year old wellness checkup.
The researchers combed through the numbers on 182,477 children over a seven year span, and found that 8 year old firstborns were 48% more likely to have anxiety and 35% more likely to have depression than their younger siblings at their own 8 year old checkups.
Further, 42% of only children were more likely to have anxiety and 38% more likely to have depression compared to children in other houses who were born second or later.
A few notes.
First, on the only child variable. The comparison group is interesting because with whom do you compare the only child group?
One option is first born children from families with multiple children. That way, you’d be capturing the phenomenon of a child being born first. And that’s exactly what researchers did here.
But it’s incomplete because it doesn’t answer the separate question of whether there’s something unique about being born into this world, without siblings, and how that affects development going forward.
Because even those who have siblings later are, in fact, entering the world alone to begin with.
Child development starts in the womb, and this study doesn’t answer a lot of questions about how entering the world without a sibling might affect a child.
But it does note an important correlation, even if it lacks explanatory power.
And that correlation is that, yes, if you’re an only child you’re more likely to have depression or anxiety at 8 years old than 2nd or 3rd etc born kids from other families.
And if you’re the oldest in a family with multiple siblings, you’re also significantly more likely to have depression or anxiety than the rest of your siblings at that age.
So, according to this study, there is something unique about being first, although exactly what that is remains unclear.
And it should also be noted: data from other studies directly contradicts the suggestions in the current study, and actually show first born children having higher levels of self-esteem (ages 7-12) and significantly lower rates of depression than children born later.
In fact, there have been a number of studies on just this question, and a number of different conclusions. Of course, study design is a major factor. Perhaps the most significant factor.
But the current study is impressive in the scope of its data, but it also has significant limitations in design and leaves a lot of questions unsolved.
Practical implications: No study is perfect, and no matter which data you go by, the one thing researchers agree on is that birth order does matter – for each child.
Therefore, it’s important that when members of the church are quick to judge (which we tend to unfortunately do, despite Christ’s warnings), we remember that birth order is one of the many things that can explain so much.
And it’s another variable that we need to take into account when we address anyone.
So, for example, to be very non-scientific – if an adult firstborn seems tense and frustrated, instead of chalking it up to a character flaw, we might say, “You know what, they might be feeling unusual weight and responsibility to be perfect and keep it together because that’s often the role an older child plays in relationships growing up. Maybe I should consider that when I want to judge them for being a certain way.”
Or, if someone who grew up as a youngest child seems particularly prone to questioning norms, instead of the church saying, “Oh dear, that person is a troublemaker,” instead, we might have more understanding and, in fact, gain by saying, “You know what? Perhaps they have unusual insight because they were never taken seriously and could see a lot of the hypocrisies, growing up, then, and now in life. Let’s not write them off as simply a troublemaker.”
The same kind of understanding should go for the struggles of only children and middle children and adopted children and children who grew up living in blended families.
We rarely know the birth order of someone with whom we interact, and yet so often, we’re prone to making judgments that perhaps we wouldn’t make if we understood the context.
The novelist Graham Greene wrote in the marvelous, The Power and The Glory, “Hatred is a failure of the imagination,” and we should probably insert, “Judgment is a failure of the imagination,” as well, because once we use our imagination and we also think in terms of rigorous scientific study (at a medical, sociological, psychological, socioeconomic and everything else-else level), then suddenly, it’s much easier to not only get past our judgments, but actually feel humility and remorse for having arrived at them so quickly.
If there’s one thing I’m convinced that I need more of — and that the church needs more of — it’s humility.
That is a much more difficult virtue, personally and collectively, to cultivate than it sounds. But it can change worlds.
Another thing to remember – so often, we feel alone. “Am I the only one who feels this way?” And it’s always the case that there are millions who struggle with the same thing, and if you feel particular weight or frustration or, really, any feeling, remember how powerful birth order is in the way we’re shaped.
I came into this world last, and yeah, a lot of the stereotypes apply. And sometimes when I’m feeling alone in a certain way, I know that I can call someone else who was born last and they’ll immediately get it.
Maybe we should start asking potential friends (discreetly, of course) the order they popped out, make a mental note, and perhaps they’ll be that friendly ear when it feels that no one else will hear you.
If you’re depressed, or struggle with any aspect of mental health…
For readers from the United States….
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.
For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.
[Photo: Legends of the Fall, which is the first movie off the top of my head that, somewhat stereotypically, nevertheless highlights some of the fundamental birth order things. Also, the score is one of my favorite, and of course the Mountain West of the United States – soaring and haunting.]
