In his new book, On Getting Out of Bed, author Ryan Noble acknowledges the extraordinary difficulty for those with depression on just… getting out of bed.
For those of us who have the condition, the struggle to “get out of bed” is sometimes literal, but very often, metaphoric for a lot of things that we have to do, but can’t imagine how we have the capacity to.
And I don’t mean things the world would call ambitious.
I mean things that your neighbor might say, “Wha?! You can’t even open that stack of envelopes on your table?”
Getting out of bed can mean so many things to someone struggling with depression, and often, it simply means everything, as I wrote at length of my personal experience here.
But Ryan Noble has a heartening way of thinking of getting out of bed, and it’s a truth that, unfortunately, many Christians might sneer at, but, hey, that’s on them.
Rising out of bed each day is also a decisive act. Living is a wager. It is a severe gamble. You do not know the suffering and sorrow that awaits. You do not know the heartache. But you know it is coming to you… to choose to go on is to proclaim with your life, and at the risk of tremendous suffering, that it is good.
Even when it is hard, it is good. Even when you don’t feel that it is good, even when that goodness is unimaginable, it is good.
When we act on that goodness by rising out of bed, when we take that step to the block in radical defiance of suffering and our own anxiety and depression and hopelessness, with our heads held high, we honor God and His creation, and we testify to our family, to our neighbors, and to our friends of His goodness.
This act is worship.
Couple things here.
First, I think the getting out of bed phenomenon might be one of the truest forms of worship, because no one will recognize your merely getting up as both a monumental achievement and a trust in God’s plan except…. you and God.
That kind of worship is private and because it is so private, I believe that God honors it, uniquely, just as he does our prayers in the closet.
In fact, when we get out of bed in the face of our depression and anxiety and PTSD and OCD and whatever else, it seems so pedestrian to the world-at-large that we’re not even tempted to say, “I got out out of bed for God today.”
So unlike our private prayers, which may sneak out in conversation, we will almost certainly never let it slip in the church community that our getting the mail today or going to work or brushing our teeth was worship.
Context matters. And in the face of severe depression or other conditions, doing all those things because you hear God saying, “Come on, my son and and daughter, I’m here, I’m pulling for you, I’ve got you,” well… that’s private and pure worship.
Second, even if you can’t get out of your literal or metaphoric bed, just remember that God will never judge you for it.
Jesus often escaped from the crowds out of weariness, and if he weren’t Jesus, perhaps Christians would condemn him too for “taking that precious so-called ‘self-care time’ when others need you.”
But Jesus was perfect. He didn’t sin.
So don’t feel pressure to get out of bed when your body and mind say it’s not wise. You’re not, in any way, sinning.
In fact, you may be following Christ’s call to stay in bed.
There are so many in Christian ministry who felt compelled by others and their own sense of guilt and calling to get out of bed when they were literally at their max, and they ended it all by ending it all. And committing suicide.
So even though I love and appreciate and think it’s helpful to see getting out of bed as an act of worship, it’s important to remember that staying in bed shouldn’t be seen as its opposite.
In fact, it can be God’s Spirit demanding you rest, or perhaps his love asking you to show yourself grace because you live with a chronic illness and sometimes people with chronic pain can’t get out of bed, and neither can we.
Would we ever say it’s a sin for someone with horrible knee pain to just rest? God forbid.
So I wanted to add that really important disclaimer, and it’s a balance we all have to find for ourselves, with the help of the Spirit and also the wisdom of a therapist.
If you struggle with knowing that balance, I’m right there with you!
I’ve been through it and still struggle on this. In fact, I haven’t posted on this blog for some time, because I just haven’t had it in me. And I know God isn’t displeased. I needed to rest for the sake of my family, for the sake of Christ, for the sake of others and myself.
The main thing to remember is that Jesus knows us, loves us perfectly, and no other human can know us or love us in the same way, and so listen above all to the Spirit’s voice and a therapist’s wisdom.
If you’re depressed, or struggle with any aspect of mental health…
For readers from the United States….
Find a psychiatrist here.
Find a therapist here.
For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.
For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.
One more thing — If you want to read an incredibly gripping interview with a long-time pastor who experienced severe anxiety and depression and an absolute inability to get out of bed, please read my interview with Pastor Kirby Smith. I think you’ll find a friend in him and comfort in his story.
