Over at the Mind and Soul Foundation (A wonderful U.K. based Christian organization, dedicated to mental health), psychologist Kate Middleton (yes, the name is right) has some tips if you’re experiencing fear over stepping back into society after over a year of sporadic lockdowns and overwhelming uncertainty.
Read the whole thing, but her tips are:
1) “Take it slow and be kind to yourself”
2) “Don’t add MORE difficult/distressing emotion(s)”
3) “Think about boundaries and try not to be too binary in your thinking”
4) If you’re a church leader, be sensitive to the fact everyone might not be jumping for joy at reintegration. Think of how you can be more accommodating.
I want to particularly highlight this passage, where she writes:
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“So often when we’re finding things hard we take the initial emotional load and add to it either FEAR – what is wrong with me, why am I feeling like this? or GUILT – if I were not so stupid I wouldn’t feel like this, if I were a better person I would react differently.
Don’t. A lot of this is biology. It is totally understandable after what we have been through. Give yourself and your brain a break – it will reset and get back into things quicker than you think but it is ok to find things hard at first.
……Try to find some safe spaces and people where you can ponder decisions over what you do and don’t feel you can do. Don’t leave it till you are under pressure or end up talking with people who make you feel silly for not just leaping back into everything!
The more a conversation flares up your anxiety the harder it will be to think straight, so take it slow and keep it safe.”
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End quote.
Yes, that’s so important.
And I would add this: don’t let other Christians bully you into re-entry activities that don’t make sense for you.
There tend to be two forces, pulling many churches in opposite directions right now, in the United States.
One force is the anti-vaxx, anti-ask crowd camp which is significant and loud, and prone to heaping guilt onto Christians for taking precautions — even Christians with significant pre-existing health conditions.
“Live in faith, not fear!” is their mantra (To which I’d respond: Then why are you living in fear over the vaccine?)
Another camp in the church is much quieter, but says, “Wait a second. If the church is about loving our neighbor as ourselves, maybe we should be the brightest example of this and the most accommodating to the vulnerable, to our community. Jesus came to bring spiritual life and help ease physical suffering, and aren’t we supposed to be modeling that kind of behavior?”
I know a woman in her 70s, with weak lungs, and her spiritual community is loaded with “Covid is just a little flu or a hoax” anti-vaxxers, and if she were to go to church, they’d shower her in mask-less hugs.
No doubt many would be genuine, but in the church right now, there’s also a political statement in many hugs. And God help you if you enter some of these churches, wearing a mask. You’ll either be mocked, or it will be knocked off you in one of those bear hugs.
Christians who take Covid seriously have suddenly realized that, ironically, many churches are the least loving environments they can enter — physically or emotionally.
In fact, look at videos of casinos. They’re doing more to protect their congregants than many churches! That’s a sign that the church might be a little off-course.
We’re supposed to be the light of the world, not the death of it.
So if you feel bullied at church, spiritually and physically, then talk to church leaders. And if they laugh you off, that should raise a red flag about your particular church’s priorities.
Is it a political entity whose Bible has become a conspiracy-based discussion board, or a spiritual dwelling whose guiding principle is following The One who called himself the Great Physician and looked with deep compassion on human physical suffering?
[Photo: Mtrienke, The Strasbourg Cathedral, in Strasbourg, France. The most stunning inside-thing I’ve ever been to]
