Brian Dawkins, one of the best safeties to ever play football, talks with NBC Sports Philadelphia about the depression that hit him when the birth of his son coincided with intense professional pressures.
After a horribly dark period, Dawkins got on meds, turned to Christianity, and got his life back — while still acknowledging “that feeling” never entirely goes away.
Dawkins, to NBC Sports Philadelphia:
“I went through a real dark, deep depression. Alcohol was a tremendous crutch. There were times I didn’t even want to be around my family, didn’t want to be around my son.
I just wanted to be in a dark room by myself with nobody. My room, I won’t say was a frequent occurrence, but it was something I would do. My faith back then wasn’t that strong, so I listened to the other voice in my head, and that’s where suicidal thoughts came in, and then actually planning out how I would go about it in such a way that Connie (his wife) and my son would get the money from my insurance policy.”
Thomas and his wife eventually aided Dawkins in getting help. Dawkins began to see a psychiatrist and also began taking medication for his depression. The meds helped calm him down, but he wasn’t himself.
“The pain I was feeling was tremendous,” Dawkins said. “But then, I found a way to control it. I rededicated my life. Being able to deal with that through my renewed faith. Going to more and more bible studies. Giving my life over to the Lord, completely helped me go on to become the athlete I became and the person I became.”
Dawkins is winning the biggest battle of his life against depression.
“That feeling is always there to this day,” Dawkins said. “It’s just waiting for you to feel so sorry for yourself that you can come back down and start having those same feelings again. My faith is strong enough now that I can tell that part of me to shut up and that’s now who I am.”
