The Weary Christian
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      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

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      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

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      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

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      NEW STUDY: How the brain unlearns fear

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      STUDY: Stressed mice adopt anorexia-like behaviors

  • Book quotes/Video
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      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Book quotes/Video

      Your verse for today

      Book quotes/Video

      Keller: On Peter and identity

      Book quotes/Video

      Voskamp: It’s all about where you look

      Book quotes/Video

      “Remember Me”

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      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

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      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

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      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

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      STUDY: Eating citrus fruits can reduce risk of…

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      Study: Why so many disorders are linked

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      INTERVIEW: Dr. Terry Powell’s gripping account of depression

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      INTERVIEW: Therapist Michael Schiferl explains religious scrupulosity and…

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      INTERVIEW: Rocker Matt Sassano shares battles, urges transparency…

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      INTERVIEW: Dr. Brian Briscoe tells Christians that antidepressants…

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      INTERVIEW: Pastor Scott Sauls on anxiety, depression, and…

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      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Devotionals

      Defeated by God

      Devotionals

      Am I a faithless Christian?

      Devotionals

      Think you’re a “failure?” Jesus sees you unlike…

      Devotionals

      “I killed Jesus of Nazareth”

  • About
  • Depression
    • Depression

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Depression

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Depression

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

      Depression

      STUDY: Eating citrus fruits can reduce risk of…

      Depression

      STUDY: Lycopene can help ease depressive symptoms in…

  • Anxiety
    • Anxiety

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Anxiety

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

      Anxiety

      NEW STUDY: How the brain unlearns fear

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Stressed mice adopt anorexia-like behaviors

  • Book quotes/Video
    • Book quotes/Video

      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Book quotes/Video

      Your verse for today

      Book quotes/Video

      Keller: On Peter and identity

      Book quotes/Video

      Voskamp: It’s all about where you look

      Book quotes/Video

      “Remember Me”

  • Health News
    • Health News

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Health News

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Health News

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

      Health News

      STUDY: Eating citrus fruits can reduce risk of…

      Health News

      Study: Why so many disorders are linked

  • Interviews
    • Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Terry Powell’s gripping account of depression

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Therapist Michael Schiferl explains religious scrupulosity and…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Rocker Matt Sassano shares battles, urges transparency…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Brian Briscoe tells Christians that antidepressants…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Pastor Scott Sauls on anxiety, depression, and…

  • Devotionals
    • Devotionals

      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Devotionals

      Defeated by God

      Devotionals

      Am I a faithless Christian?

      Devotionals

      Think you’re a “failure?” Jesus sees you unlike…

      Devotionals

      “I killed Jesus of Nazareth”

  • About

The Weary Christian

THE WEARY CHRISTIAN

LIVING WITH FAITH AND DEPRESSION

  • Depression
    • Depression

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Depression

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Depression

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

      Depression

      STUDY: Eating citrus fruits can reduce risk of…

      Depression

      STUDY: Lycopene can help ease depressive symptoms in…

  • Anxiety
    • Anxiety

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Anxiety

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

      Anxiety

      NEW STUDY: How the brain unlearns fear

      Anxiety

      STUDY: Stressed mice adopt anorexia-like behaviors

  • Book quotes/Video
    • Book quotes/Video

      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Book quotes/Video

      Your verse for today

      Book quotes/Video

      Keller: On Peter and identity

      Book quotes/Video

      Voskamp: It’s all about where you look

      Book quotes/Video

      “Remember Me”

  • Health News
    • Health News

      STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

      Health News

      STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

      Health News

      STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of…

      Health News

      STUDY: Eating citrus fruits can reduce risk of…

      Health News

      Study: Why so many disorders are linked

  • Interviews
    • Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Terry Powell’s gripping account of depression

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Therapist Michael Schiferl explains religious scrupulosity and…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Rocker Matt Sassano shares battles, urges transparency…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Dr. Brian Briscoe tells Christians that antidepressants…

      Interviews

      INTERVIEW: Pastor Scott Sauls on anxiety, depression, and…

  • Devotionals
    • Devotionals

      “Grace has got to be drunk straight”

      Devotionals

      Defeated by God

      Devotionals

      Am I a faithless Christian?

      Devotionals

      Think you’re a “failure?” Jesus sees you unlike…

      Devotionals

      “I killed Jesus of Nazareth”

  • About
AnxietyDepressionHealth News

STUDY: How music-mindfulness can help depression, anxiety

STUDY: Chronic pain associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety

Study: Why so many disorders are linked

NEW STUDY: How the brain unlearns fear

Why you might feel more anxious at night

Daily Blog

“Grace has got to be drunk straight”

“Grace has got to be drunk straight”

written by Christian Heinze

Robert Capon, in his book Between Noon and Three, urges us to embrace one of the strangely hardest things for us to even accept — the fact we’re loved by God regardless of our sin, that we’re children of God regardless of our disobedience, that we’re forgiven both now and forever, through nothing we’ve done and in spite of everything we’ve done and will do.

In the context of the onset of the Reformation’s fundamental truth – justification by faith alone, Capon writes (italics added).


“The word of the Gospel — after all those centuries of trying to lift yourself into heaven by worrying about the perfection of your bootstraps — suddenly turned out to be a flat announcement that the saved were home before they started.

…. Grace has to be drunk straight: no water, no ice, and certainly no ginger ale; neither goodness, nor badness,, nor the flowers that bloom in the spring of super spirituality could be allowed to enter into the case.”


Two lines in there best sum up what Capon is saying.

First, “Grace has got to be drunk straight.”

We have so much trouble drinking grace straight, because it seems easy, almost childish, it defies the way grownup world works, and seems wild fantasy to our condemning hearts.

From the moment we’re born, we quickly learn that in order to please our parents, we have to be obey and “be good kids.”

In order to please our teachers, we have to get good grades and sit still and listen.

In order to please our peers, we have to perform a certain way – dress like this, talk like that, do all these things.

In order to please our bosses, we have to meet or exceed their expectations.

In order to please society, we have to be pleasing ourselves, in whatever the situation demands, and I’m not saying that’s a bad or good thing, it’s just a thing, and can be crushing. And if it’s not yet, it will be for everyone, at some point in their lives.

In short – becoming a “good person,” as defined by parents, family, teachers, peers, bosses, spouses – is used to define our value.

In that case, what are we?

Are we human?

No, fundamentally, we’ve been turned into a product that, at best, has passed vigorous testing and is finally deemed fit for the shelves.

But at our core, we know we’re full of defects, contradictions, lies, sin (sometimes all the seven deadly ones and you can add a few hundred to that), and we’re left living in a state of constant “impostor syndrome” where, after all our efforts, after all the validation, we still feel the weight of the fact that we’re not enough.

And we know that, at some point, someone or society itself will say “Hey, this is a defective product,” and we’ll be returned or whipped into goodness.

We can never meet anyone’s standards of virtue, forever, so of course, that’s bound to fail, and the worst thing of all is when we accept that Satanic lie that God views us as a product, that his love depends on our virtue.

Satan twists virtue into value, which is very Satany. He always takes something good and turns it into something bad.

So if God tells us something that’s meant for our good because it will help us flourish, Satan says, “Sure, be virtuous and God will be happy with you. But if you don’t, he’ll be angry, his love will disappear into hatred, and he’ll damn you.”

We listen to the Great Accuser far more than The Good Shepherd.

Jesus knows more than we do how hard it is for sinful people to…. not be sinful, and hence, Jesus’ death for us.

That should crucify our attempts at saving ourselves. Jesus did it so we didn’t have to.

So forget about holding yourself to the standard the world, your heart, and Satan holds you to. It’s been held to. By Jesus.

Christ’s burden is light and his yoke easy.

That’s why someone could just say “God forgive me” and it was done in an instant, and Jesus didn’t say, as they were running away in joy, “Wait, wait, wait, come back here, I have a lot of caveats, you’re taking this the wrong way.”

Or when the thief said “Remember me,” Jesus didn’t say, “Let me think about it” or give him a life review.

No, Jesus responded instantly and he came preaching mercy everywhere he went.

In fact, in Luke 4:22, the masses were “amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips.”

Note that word:”Gracious.” It comes from the Greek word “charis,” and HELPS Word Studies notes the Biblical Greek is “xaris” or “leaning forward,” which most accurately conveys the Lord’s “freely extending to give himself away to people (because He is always leaning toward them).”

So think about that — God is always leaning towards you!

He’s not recoiling in disgust.

If ever there were a moment to recoil in disgust it was after Peter denied Christ, abandoning his savior and friend at the neediest hour. And yet what did Jesus do? Lean toward him. Longingly.

If Peter had denied Christ a fourth time, do you think he’d say “Okay, that’s the cutoff. Four.”

We accept that story for Peter, but not for ourselves.

But there are no limits on God’s love for us — even the ones we impose on ourselves.

The rest of the world, yeah. And sadly, our own hearts, yeah. Mine, all the time.

And many “Christian” movements preach constant accusation and condemnation and legalism under the guise of “exhortation” and it simply perpetuates the problem.

Their doctrinal statements talk about salvation through faith alone, but their message is salvation through works always.

It’s tragic heresy.

Like Capon said, “Grace has to be drunk straight.”

Just drink it like a shot. A shot of grace alone. Nothing we put in or take out.

It’s just grace.

The second thing about Capon’s passage that I’ve loved since I first read it almost a decade ago is “the saved were home before they started.“

We don’t have to make a long pilgrimage into God’s good favor and grace. Before we knew he loved us, he loved us. “We love him because he first loved us.”

So while the world might judge you as a product, while your heart might say, “I have a long way to reach God’s salvation and after decades of trying, I’m still at the starting point,” remember this — you are already home, and God sees you the way the world doesn’t — as his own son or daughter, precious, no matter what.

And even though you’re not in paradise yet, we are, in a way.

Our presence in the world might block us from clear view of the next, the condemnation of others and ourselves might persuade us that God’s promises are not meant for us.

But Christianity is a Jesus-to-you relationship, and even if the promises of everyone else fail, Christ’s wont. He is the father who is there and loving, the friend who is there, unfailing, the God of a life we sometimes don’t even feel worth saving.

I have to tell this to myself every time my heart condemns me (lots and lots, ugh), despairs (plenty there too) and, also, when the world and my own perfectionism impose their crushing and perverse definition of “success” as “achievement.” (continuously, ubiquitously, shamelessly, that’s the Gospel of the United States).

As Alistair Begg famously preached of the thief entering the gates of heaven, “The man on the middle cross said I could come.”

No one else would have the thief, but Christ. And he has you and me.

So.. when you raise a glass tonight, drink your grace straight. Nothing else. Just grace. Let’s toast on that.

If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or any other such disorders — for readers in the United States…

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.

[Photo: Free, Pexels].

May 30, 2025
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STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

STUDY: Awe can reduce depressive symptoms

written by Christian Heinze

A brand new study in Scientific Reports finds that experiencing awe can reduce depressive symptoms and increase a sense of well-being.

The study particularly focused on individuals experiencing depression and stress from long COVID, but its authors suggest that it may be helpful for the psychological health of others dealing with chronic illness.

Okay, so first, how did the authors define awe?

They called it “an emotion elicited by stimuli that are vast, or beyond one’s current conceptual frame of reference” — you know awe if you’re human. When I stepped inside the Strasbourg Cathedral for the first time and felt the transcendence of the Almighty and everything else, yeah.

It’s powerful, isn’t it?

Now… It’s not hard to see why experiencing awe would lessen depressive symptoms, but what’s difficult is this — you and I aren’t in a world where it’s easy to experience awe every day.

Our day-to-day life is often pedestrian, at best (which precludes the idea of awe’s presence) or honestly unbearably hard and overwhelming and bleak and depressing, at worst.

So my question was — how did the researchers stage an “awe intervention?”

You can’t really do a study where you take everyone to Paris every evening and see the lights across the Seine, can you?

No.

So here’s what they did – it was a simple intervention you and I can do wherever we are.

Their AWE intervention consisted of this acronym and definition.

A = Attention. Tell folks to pay “full and undivided attention on things you appreciate, value, or find amazing.“

W = Wait. “Slow down, pause.”

E = Exhale and Expand. “Amplify whatever sensations you are experiencing.”

They asked one group (study group) to do this at least 3x/day for as briefly as 30 seconds a session, while the other group (control group) refrained from the practice.

So what did they find?

The group who practiced awe daily had a 17% decrease in symptoms of depression, 16% increase in well being, and12% decrease in symptoms of stress.

The results exceeded the control group in a statistically significant fashion.

In other words, it mattered.

The authors concluded:

Our work contributes to a burgeoning science suggesting that positive emotions, such as awe, can be leveraged in interventions to improve physical and psychological health outcomes in clinical and non-clinical populations

This is a fantastic area of study and even though the idea seems really intuitive, it’s something that’s a relatively new addition to the research field.

I think a lot of therapists get at the idea of “awe,” but I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen the word and the intervention incorporated into many of the popular writings.

Now, if you’re depressed – it’s awfully hard to find awe in anything. Even the things that once moved you.

I get that, and I’ve been there.

Everything, including the Lord’s salvation – the most awe-inducing reality imaginable – feels like “meh.” I can’t pretend otherwise. That’s the idea behind one of depression’s most well-known manifestations, “anhedonia,” where things that normally move you emotionally fall utterly flat. I’ve written about my own experience here.

There’s a strong underlying message in the church that Christians should never experience flatness over Christ’s salvation, over our future hope, over the fact that we will share in his glories. “Just think about that enough and voila, you’ll be moved!”

If you’re depressed, your brain might be mentally unable to get there, and we tend to beat ourselves up about that, but ask yourself – does anything in life get you there when you’re like that? Usually, no. It’s part of the disease.

That’s easy to understand.

But there are times, strangely, where the awesomeness of Christianity seems flat compared with the transcendent feelings of listening to music, for example, or other such ostensibly non-spiritual things. But as CS Lewis famously points out, all of the glories we see around us are reflections of the source of it, and it’s not a badge of shame that these things move us.

If they do move us, they should move us in the direction of thanking the Lord and realizing how incomprehensibly beautiful he is, particularly if you strip out the human, broken, sinful component.

But in moments of deep depression, yeah, it’s tough for anything to move you.

Nevertheless, I’m going to start trying to use this little acronym AWE in my daily life.

I think we all do, to some extent, but we let’s intentionally set out to do it, whether we feel it or not, and maybe it helps and maybe it doesn’t.

You might find it hard to even find the space in your mind or world to experience awe, and I get that. I struggle with that right now too. I’m confined to bed and the bathroom the vast majority of the time, and I won’t get into all the emotions with that, but awe can be difficult to access. Especially when we feel hopeless.

But let’s try the intervention. It’s so simple. If it doesn’t help, then no harm. If it does, well that’s fantastic.

(In my younger days, I had a restless pursuit of awe and could access stimuli for it more easily, but now it’s much harder, and I suspect it’s the same for many of you. Much of the beauty of youth, I think, lies in your ability to easily access stimuli for awe).

[PHOTO: Lauterbrunnen Valley, Switzerland. Creator OGPhoto. Credit: Getty Images]

Re: the photo: I couldn’t come up with the place that’s produced the most feelings of awe, indeed, the moments, because, really, a place is a common conduit to producing a moment, and you can’t do that reliably with a photo, and moments are such unique constellations of weather systems that I can only borrow the phrase of Bono to describe what I think awe gets at and it’s…….. “that other place.”

“That other place.”

To me, that’s awe.

I remember a U2 interview somewhere where Bono said that when he and The Edge were deciding on a sound for the band early on (punk), they were keen on infusing it with a sense of transcendence that was missing both from punk and rock and roll, in general. At least in my mind – even as a lifelong fan of punk and rock.

But here’s that “other place” line in “Beautiful Day.”

“Touch me, take me, to that other place. You gotta teach me, Lord, I’m not a hopeless case”.

If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or any other such disorders — for readers in the United States…

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.

May 15, 2025
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Your verse for today

Your verse for today

written by Christian Heinze

If you’re going through it right now, James 1:12:


“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”


Read that again and KEEP GOING. God’s crown of life for you in heaven won’t be “meh.”

If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or any other such disorders — for readers in the United States…

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.

May 15, 2025
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Keller: On Peter and identity

Keller: On Peter and identity

written by Christian Heinze

In his book, Hope in Times of Fear: The Resurrection and the Meaning of Easter, Tim Keller makes this really interesting observation re: Peter’s violence at Jesus’ arrest and subsequently equally violent denial of his Lord, shortly thereafter.

It has an important implication for us, and not the one I’d immediately reach to.

Keller:


“Peter’s identity was based on the assumption of his superiority to his fellow disciples.

Peter told Jesus that he was the most passionate and faithful of all. He was not basing his identity on Jesus’s great love for him but on his great love for Jesus.

That meant that while Jesus was Peter’s teacher, Peter was being his own savior.”


Next, Keller links what Self-Righteous, Own Savior mode can do to us, drawing on Yale theologian Miroslav Volf’s theory of what led Cain to murder his own brother.


“Any identity based on our superior performance over other will produce at least two results — fragility and hostility.

First, there will be a deep insecurity and an inability to see yourself. Peter, despite Jesus’s direct warning to him about his coming failure, had no sense of danger. Why not?

Because if you base your very self-worth on being brave, and if you look into your heart and see cowardice, you will have to screen it out and deny it, or you won’t have a self left.

And that is true of any identity not rooted in Jesus’s unmerited love.

…. The second result is hostility toward those who are different.

If you get your identity from being the most passionate follower of Jesus, then you have to be angry or even violent toward someone who opposes your Lord. When Jesus was arrested, Peter was the only disciple who did violence…. when a false identity is endangered, the result is always hostility.”


That, of course, has implications for our lives – whether personal or interpersonal.

I struggle so much with the first aspect of identity – trying to be my own Savior – and absolutely find it so viscerally counterintuitive that God could love me, regardless of who I am or what I do.

That’s not how the world is structured.

That isn’t the way I see life or have experienced it since I was born. It was always a performance-based world, where you were applauded and worth something if you were “good” (however that’s defined) and treated as less valuable if you weren’t.

That’s just the way the sinful world operates.

The clear theological reality is that God doesn’t see us the way others do. We’re all equally sinners and Jesus taught, over and over, that the least is greatest and the point is there is no greatest, at all.

Human evaluation of what success is and isn’t, of who’s greatest or who’s not – it ain’t God’s.

Yet that rubric’s pushed on us from the moment we step into the world, and we never stop getting that message reinforced through every avenue, including ourselves.

So…. when it comes to the idea that God could actually love us because… he loves me? In spite of me? Despite me?

That’s what’s hard. And what I unconsciously try to rid myself of through performance to please and somehow be worthy of him.

I think (know) a ton of Christians struggle with this.

But that’s the self-saving identity Peter had, and it’s a religion of burden and absolute heresy by turning ourselves into our savior.

But it’s so easy to fall into that religion.

As to Keller’s second point — that a false identity will produce hostility — we see that all the time, today, at a macro level, too.

At a group level, Christians increasingly seem to be adopting an identity that’s kin to self-righteousness, and you can see the verbal violence that’s increasingly deployed in the political arena. I used to report and write on politics, and it’s no secret that things have now gotten so ugly and toxic. And Christians far too easily find themselves (whether on the right or left) reveling in the mire.

Instead of seeing the world as a mission field, we often see the world as a battleground between ourselves (“the saints”) and the evil ones who are trying to destroy it.

And we can dehumanize the exact ones Jesus worked so hard to humanize and say, “They’re just as valuable and I love them just as much”).

Keller:


“When we ‘other’ a group or people, we treat them as alien and strange, and we stress what we see as their weakness and evils in an effort to prove to ourselves and others how superior we are by contrast.”


In a wonderful Good Friday address from 1982, Raniero Cantalamessa reminds us that we must all continually embrace the confession “I killed Jesus of Nazareth.”

Not to beat ourselves up.

But to remind us, individually, that we can’t be our own savior, and, collectively, that we dare not judge the others who put the Lord on the cross.

We are all equally responsible, we all spit on and rejected him, and for any of us to put ourselves in judgment of another is to put ourselves on God’s throne. Which is blasphemy.

And, again, at a micro level, to sit in a place of working ourselves to salvation, we are also putting ourselves in the place of Christ.

I will struggle on fighting these unconscious identities and their manifestations for as long as I live.

The only answer is Christ, and even if you and I fail in our fights, we always have to remember that Christ’s salvation is enough.

If our salvation depended on the merit of our own faith, then God help us. None of us would be saved!

But Jesus’ mercy and grace is stronger than anything our sin could throw at him. Thanks be to God.

May 6, 2025
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Voskamp: It’s all about where you look

Voskamp: It’s all about where you look

written by Christian Heinze

Ann Voskamp, in her new book, Loved to Life, points to John the Baptist’s famous, “Look! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”

Voskamp (emphasis added).


“The lifting of eyes to look to the Lamb of God — this lifting that even the weariest among us can do.

And yet, in the paradox of all things true, the way we turn our eyes may actually be the hardest of all.

Because focusing the eyes is always a matter of how we focus the heart.

Where the eyes are fixed, so the heart is…. Where you look is where you love.

Looking on what your hands can do, looking to what your work is working on, looking to what all your striving is reaching for does little to no good at all. You don’t have to know what to do, but just decide: Lord, Lamb of God, ‘our eyes are on you.’ (2 Chronicles 20:12).

Where you look will save — or smother — your life.”


Think about that phrase: “Where you look will save – or smother – your life.”

Yeah, absolutely.

A famous moment from Scripture comes when Peter looks to Christ and walks on water; then suddenly looks away, below, at the dread of the sea’s depth, and “was terrified and began to sink.”

Instead of the supernatural, he saw the natural and the natural is bleak and will destroy even the strongest of us (physical death being its ultimate conclusion).

Peter’s example is useful, but obviously dramatic, and we often don’t think of our everyday in terms of that drama.

But we’re engaged in the same struggle, trying to walk on water, with the same perverse, deep water ready, wanting to sink us, and how many of us feel we’re drowning? Not just in a moment, as Peter. But for long stretches. I do. Even now as I write. Last night, as I went to bed. More nights than I can count.

And we often drown silently, to ourselves, and indeed, the physical act of drowning isn’t about screaming as often portrayed – it’s famously deadly because it silently takes the swimmer.

And so, you and I often drown in silence because that’s the way most humans do. Alone. To ourselves.

Why is it often alone? Many reasons.

For one, I think it’s particularly difficult to share with other Christians, because we feel extra guilt from confiding to the faith community: “I’m drowning,” because Christians are supposed to be “more than conquerors,” we’re supposed to walk on water because we’ve given ourselves to the one who did, we’re supposed to have the Spirit inside us and therefore, “I’m no longer a slave to fear.”

And yet, we fail more than we conquer. We sink more than we walk on water. At least I do. Maybe you don’t. But I sure do.

And that’s part of the deal.

In his famous parable of the sower, Jesus said that when hard times comes, the faithless will be exposed and disappear from Christianity entirely. Not just for a moment, but forever.

The hard times will come – that’s a promise (“in this world you will have tribulation”) – but what we need to focus on is that, yes, maybe we failed and maybe we sank, but at some point, we looked up and no matter when we look up — whether it’s when we’re partially submerged or even in the belly of Jonah’s whale (“When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord”) — God will never turn his face from us. He will always make a way for us to make it to land again, dry, under the sun.

No matter how many times we drown– as long as we end the matter by looking up, well, looking up is where the thief was and Jesus said, “Today you’ll be with me in paradise.”

I’m middle-aged, but realistically, I’m on the back-end of my life and we never really know, do we, and I wish I could say that I’ve gotten better at this faith thing than twenty or thirty years ago.

But I haven’t.

But the Lord has kept me in his arms, even though I’m still just as needy and dependent and prone to wander as I ever was.

Brennan Manning’s memoir All is Grace says it all in the title.

And remember this song about grace:

“Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far

And grace will lead me home.”

If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or any other such disorders — for readers in the United States…

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.

[PS This blog is a politics-free zone (personally, I don’t think Jesus would identify with sides and notably refused to be drawn into the political issues of the day], and so I’m reluctant to put any political figure on here, but this performance of “Amazing Grace” by former president Obama has always moved me – the way that, at first, the audience isn’t entirely sure whether he’s being serious, but the former POTUS shows, no sings, that it’s an Amazing Grace moment. Such a powerful song.

CBS has a good read on why “Amazing Grace” remains one of the most universally-known and loved songs, regardless of faith, actually. It’s about humanity, in our truest form. We are all entirely reliant on grace. Every human knows that. And so we all feel the song when we hear it. I read or saw somewhere [perhaps a review of this book] that Christians — in trying to “sweetify” our hymns — made a brief effort to change the word “wretch” to something less “sordid.” But…. that didn’t fly. And not because of stiff, conservative theological resistance, but because — even among non-believers — the song loses its power without the truth of “wretch.” Grace doesn’t resonate as deeply unless contrasted with wretch, and every human has felt a wretch, and by the grace of God, when we feel that way, may we all look up because it’s the only place where the wretch can find someone who sees us as we don’t – created, loved, and longed for.]

April 29, 2025
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“Remember Me”

written by Christian Heinze

“Remember me” – a beautiful song, by Nick Chambers, Page CXVI, and Isaac Wardell from The Porter’s Gate:


“When I forget, who will I be?

God of the depths, remember me

When all is lost, who will I be?

God of the cross, remember me

Remember me, remember me, remember me, my Lord

When all is dark, where will I be?

Here in your arms, remember me

Remember me, remember me, remember me, my Lord”


It’s a lovely song, for long nights or lonely days, and also, remember the most beautiful example of “remember me” from the Scripture? It got a tender “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Yours will, too.

If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or any other such disorders — for readers in the United States…

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.

April 4, 2025
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STUDY: Eating citrus fruits can reduce risk of developing depression

STUDY: Eating citrus fruits can reduce risk of developing depression

written by Christian Heinze

A brand new study from Harvard researchers, published in the journal Microbiome, arrives at some pretty compelling evidence that eating citrus fruits, such as just one orange or grapefruit per day, can lower your risk of developing depression by 20%.

The researchers believe that other citrus foods get in on the act, too, because citrus promotes a healthy gut microbiome by loading it with the bacteria F. prausnitzzi, which can profoundly influence dopamine and serotonin in the brain (in a good way), and we know all about how important dopamine and serotonin are for depression.

Now I know what you’re thinking (maybe).

How can we tell it was the F. prausnitzzi that was actually behind the lower risk of depression?

We can’t with total certainty.

But…. the researchers created a tremendous model designed to “control” for all the other possible explanations. For example, you might ask whether BMI was a key factor in the relationship and to what extent? The researchers asked that too, and there’s a way to measure that with statistical models.

And so when I say the researchers “control” for “variables” like BMI, it means the researchers get rid of a potential “confounding effect” when it comes to finding a relationship to try to arrive at what seems to be playing a major role in the relationship.

However, just because you can control for tons of things in your model, doesn’t mean you can control for every possible thing so that’s why it’s difficult to prove causation.

But you sure can suggest strong correlation that can point you in the right direction.

Hence, the researchers isolated the important role this lovely F. prausnitzzi bacteria plays in lowering the risk of depression.

Now how does it do it?

The researchers offer a few theories, based on prior research studies.

Recent experimental data support that F. prausnitzii administration in mice ameliorates anxiety and depression symptoms. Furthermore, treatment with either F. prausnitzii or its supernatant raises intestinal serotonin levels in mice [76]. Thus, the SAM cycle I pathway offers a plausible mechanism by which F. prausnitzii may influence depression. SAM is a key methyl donor involved in the synthesis of mood- and behavior-regulating neurotransmitters, including serotonin and dopamine [77]. In support of this, SAM, when used as monotherapy or in conjunction with other antidepressants, has demonstrated encouraging and generally positive results in numerous clinical trials for major depressive disorder [60, 61, 63].

Okay, so there’s a very brief look at the study (And note that the researchers think that other citrus fruits like lemon would provide the same benefit. They just didn’t look at them for the study).

So what does this mean?

A number of things.

First, depending on your ability to tolerate citrus and health conditions determining that, the bacteria alone that you get from eating citrus seems pretty helpful.

And not just for your risk of getting depression. But for all kinds of other things.

Studies have shown that F. prausnitzzi can reduce secretion of some of the worst inflammatory offenders in your body, including TNF-alpha, IL-6, and IL-12.

Elevated levels of each of those is associated with systemic development and worsening of so many diseases.

Second, this study elevates the Himalayan mountain (you pick your peak) of evidence that there’s a profound gut-brain relationship which interferes with our mental health.

Of course there are other factors involved (genetics are massive). If it was were just microbiome, then I’d have beaten this thing long ago, because I’ve tried practically every diet out there, and no serious researchers say it all has to do with gut-brain and diet.

But that relationship does play, along with many other things, a key role in mental health, as well as all manner of other diseases and again — mental health is a disease just like any other. It’s a medical condition just like any other.

I know I’m a broken record on this, but it’s impossible to dispute the decades of research showing this and vitally important for the church to universally recognize.

Third, the great tragedy is that so many Christian leaders continue to (unwittingly and with best intentions) treat mental health as if it’s a spiritual condition. I can understand that indulging in Adultery Wednesday could provoke depression, anxiety, all of that — but for the vast majority of us, this is a medical condition.

And there are so, so many in the church struggling with this disease silently, and that includes many pastors themselves.

Thus, here’s an idea for any spiritual leader that I think would really help get the sheep they so desperately want to help – well, help.

  1. Study up on this disease.
  2. Hang a picture of something like the Digestive System in your office as a reminder. (Not just that diet plays a role, but that this disease is a medical condition). You could try a pic of the Bristol Stool Chart but just maybe beta that. Or not.
  3. Have a list with local psychiatrists and therapists in your desk and hand out copies freely.

We simply have to address this in the church, or else this silent disease will continue to fester. Getting medical treatment saves lives, transforms marriages, enriches lives (including spiritually).

Final note: If diet doesn’t help, believe me, I get it. It’s hard to know everything that comes into play in our disease because researchers have shown it’s not just one thing. Far from it. So we have to be realistic about our disease. Some people hype diet as the cure-all for depression and, unfortunately, research has shown it’s not a panacea. But diet does play a role in affecting the gut-brain axis, which is one of the many things that can influence this physical disease of ours.

Lord bless you in this battle.

For readers in the United States…

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.

[Painting: Dish with Citrus Fruit, Van Gogh]

March 19, 2025
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Jacques Philippe: “How should I live my life today?”

Jacques Philippe: “How should I live my life today?”

written by Christian Heinze

In his wonderful little book, Trusting God in the Present, Jacques Filippe writes about our tendency to overthink tomorrow and underdo today during trials.

Philippe:


“In this life it is sometimes absolutely necessary that we consent to go forward without understanding.

…. when preoccupied with a question to which you can’t find the answer, ask yourself: ‘Do I absolutely need an answer to that in order to know how I should live my life today?’

You’ll realize that you usually don’t.

….We accept the situation as it is, without aiming to understand it entirely and ask, ‘What does God want of me here? What is the right way to live through this? Which part of the Gospel am I called by this situation to put into practice now? What acts of faith and hope, what progress in love, am I being asked to make today.”


Accepting something totally befuddling and awful is tough for any Christian to do, regardless of medical condition, and it can send anyone into despair.

It might be particularly tough for people with OCD whose brains are wired with a unique capacity to thrive at finding despair in these moments.

We find one question, it cockroaches into 100 more, those critters have colonies of their own, and pretty soon, it’s three hours later and you’re infested with 3,000 troubling questions when all you wanted was the answer to one.

And it all began with a single question: “Why?”

And here’s the problem: We want to understand the Why so we can find a Fix. Makes sense, right? My car is broken, there’s got to be a why, so I take it in, and a new transmission does the trick.

That’s trying to figure out an automobile’s why.

But Scripture and reason itself tell us that we can’t chase the mind of God’s reasons.

History, going back to Job, is a wasteland of saints going to the heavens for an answer and ending up with nothing except this one question that should have been our only one to begin with: “Who am I to question you, oh God?”

And here’s the thing, and it’s what Philippe is getting at. God has already given us the clear answer we need.

To practice, as best we can, faith, hope, and love, in the absence of knowing.

I can say, “God, you’re my Good Shepherd, but you seem to have fallen asleep. What gives?” and then I can answer, “But I know you haven’t. I have faith that Jesus is here.”

Or take hope.

I can say, “God, I put my hope — not in nature’s cruel hand to turn things around — but in your mercy to turn my face around, and towards your son.”

Far too often, we pin our hopes on mercy from other humans, forgetting they’re human, and attach our desperation to a world that’s already fallen to raise us from the ground.

Where is my hope in the Why?

And finally, the greatest of these virtues we can practice (hopefully) during any Why – love.

“God, just as you used your pain on the cross for me, I can use my pain for the world. Help me be a ‘wounded healer’.”

It might be that, in your pain right now, you can “only” close your eyes in prayer for someone, but that opens the heavens in ways we wouldn’t believe.

I often (usually) suck at all these things – faith, hope, and love. Especially during hard times.

It’s easy to have faith, hope, and love when things feel lovely in our lives. During one of the greatest stretches of my life, I thought I was practicing those things when in reality I was just in new love with my girlfriend/now wife.

In fact, in the good times, it’s so easy to “practice faith, hope, and love” that it’s easy to ask whether those are faith, hope, or love.

Each of those virtues implies a resistance to them. Faith can only arise in uncertainty, hope can only be hope during absence, and the deepest Christian love involves bearing the cost and canceling the debt of another’s sin against us.

Each of those things we can do (or try), regardless of circumstance.

We will never get the answer that we want to the Why.

But God has already told us what our answer must be — faith, hope, and love. We can try those things, Gold help us.

May God give us the strength, me the strength.

In the meantime, if you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or any other mood disorder (all medical conditions)….

For readers in the United States…

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.

February 27, 2025
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What a relief

What a relief

written by Christian Heinze

Brennan Manning, in A Glimpse of Jesus: The Stranger to Self-Hatred:

“No antecedent beauty enamors me in his eyes. I am lovable because he loves me. Period.”

February 10, 2025
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STUDY: Lycopene can help ease depressive symptoms in mice

STUDY: Lycopene can help ease depressive symptoms in mice

written by Christian Heinze

A brand new study in Food Science and Nutrition suggests that the natural plant extract, lycopene (eat tomatoes and you’ll get it, eat sun-dried tomates and you’ll get even more) reduces depressive symptoms of depression in mice by enhancing a key protein involved in brain health and associated with depression.

Here’s the upshot.

Scientists took 60 mice and induced depression in them by stressing them out (interestingly).

Then they divided the critters into two groups, and gave one group a bunch of lycopene and the other a corn oil placebo.

The mice that got the lycopene started mixing socially with other mice and showed greater mouse joie de vivre.

The mice that got the corn oil placebo remained the ending of Jules and Jim – awful depression.

So the lycopene appeared to help, but how?

SciTech Daily notes that it enhanced brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDFN)* which is an essential protein for brain function, memory, and learning. Further, in the depressed mice, BDFN expression was reduced.

Lycopene treatment helped restore this pathway, potentially improving neural communication and brain health.

That’s great news, particularly considering that you can get lots of lycopene from eating tomatoes, watermelon, papaya, guava, and cooked sweet red peppers (plus, as Healthline notes, there are loads of potential benefits you can get from lycopene for other physical conditions).

However, as Tracy Swartz at the NY Post notes, the study does point out some limitations.

First, the mice were given an incredibly high dose of lycopene to reach the mouse joie de vivre.

In fact, it was double the amount per day that’s currently considered safe for a human to consume, on a pound-for-pound basis!

The researchers acknowledged the limitation in the paper, as well as a few more — limiting their study to male mice and only looking at lycopene’s effect on the hippocampus.

In other words, chronic depression in humans is much more complex than a short scientific experiment involving male mice.

However, the study does advance research on the role of BDNF and depression (potentially leading to more significant therapies for the disease) and further suggests that eating lycopene (if it’s safe for you) can theoretically provide benefit, in some way.

So it’s a worthwhile and interesting study.

From a personal point of view, as someone who’s suffered from chronic depression, I’ve tried lots of diets and this is a very individual disease and we each have unique bodies, and it’s been hard to say that diet has helped me. But it would be impossible to prove it hasn’t, because we never know what helps us at the margin.

Before taking antidepressants, it seemed nothing helped me, but again, everyone’s disease is different. Maybe diet works for some, maybe it doesn’t work for others.

But at the very least, we do know that eating a healthy diet is good for your body in other ways.

*BDNF’s role in brain diseases other than depression has been studied, including its links with neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimers, Parkinsons, and Huntingtons. It’s remarkable how many ways depression and neurodegenerative diseases overlap in key brain processes.

In the meantime, if you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or any other mood disorder (all medical conditions)….

For readers in the United States…

Find a psychiatrist here.

Find a therapist here.

For readers, internationally, seek help from a local resource.

For salvation, Christ and Christ alone.

[Painting: Plant de Tomates, Picasso]

February 10, 2025
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The Weary Christian mission:

First off:

 

In the United States, find a psychiatrist here.

In the United States, find a therapist here.

If you’re in the United States and having thoughts of harming yourself or others, please call the National Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

If you’re in the UK, get urgent help here.

Canada, here.

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Germany, here.

Portugal, here.

Mexico, here.

India, here.

The Philippines, here.

Singapore, here.

South Korea, here.

 

The Weary Christian goal…

 

a) reduce the stigma surrounding depression, anxiety, OCD, and other conditions in the Christian community.

 

b) have uncomfortable but honest conversations.

 

c) Reduce the stigma surrounding antidepressants, antipsychotics, and other meds God has given us as gifts.

 

And…

 

d) Sometimes (tons of times), we all feel really, really depressed in our journey. Hopefully, this site makes you feel less alone.

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